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Open Poetry #40
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Silver Sun (for oceanvu and a guy named Tom)
| Open Poetry #40 |
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Silver Sun (for oceanvu and a guy named Tom) |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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I wish you knew that when I woke I always looked for your imprint inbetween the sheets were ghosts of men who wished I would forget your name...as though it wasn't mine. Remember Tom? Remember him? He was a fine fine fisherman-- I'd say you loved him more than I but damn if that man wasn't fine-- once he helped me at the sink coupled into me, behind-- he took the suds in cleanse of me silky up my arms in dance-- nibbling my neck and I damn near died I almost died you never really had a chance as I felt the all of him he called me sweet as pears licking underneath my ear buckling my legs...and there and there I was all sticky sweet. He took my head between his hands and his eyes were sea and sand-- he had to duck to kiss me and I didn't want the man to stop, and so the man did not. Remember when you said to me, "I think that you need a hobby" not like the horsie that you rode on Friday nights when you were bold and younger than you usedta be? It is, it's what you said to me, when you came home much too early-- we never reconciled...those Saturdays again. Tom was dead a long time while I studied couplets of I Ching-- his one and only gift to me the only book he owned and we studied it together when we were alone in the kitchen as he taught me how to cook standing much too close to me-- Were you blind? Could you not see? I was in love and he loved me-- "Carolina" in his mind... "Karen she's a silver sun," (you didn't hear him sing to me?) "Walk her way and watch her shine" watch her watch the morning light I ask you were there at all? And if you were, where was the fight, if you felt you had the right to own the pieces left of we... He told me you were blinded by the shining light defining me-- he danced me spinning I was free he dived into the deep of me an oyster knife between his teeth his shirt was clinging hungrily where I wanted fingergreed to mark him as my own. When we heard that he had died, you said he was a passing tide-- and you would not look at me. You told me he returned to sea to bed the sirens of his need-- you told me that I was a road that Tom had traveled too freely and then you laughed at me. So I became the history of the road of Silver Sun-- Didn't we have fun, baby? Didn't we have fun? Check the mileage and weep. One of us had love. * * * For Tom: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHSYaNU3mzk [This message has been edited by serenity blaze (07-14-2007 07:16 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2007 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Robert Jordan Member
since 2007-02-07
Posts 392Philadelphia Pa USA |
Serenity Blaze, This is fine work. The only change I would make would be to put a “you” between “were” and “there” in the line: I ask you were there at all? Bobby |
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oceanvu2 Senior Member
since 2007-02-24
Posts 1066Santa Monica, California, USA |
Serenity -- One of the most moving things I've read, period. Excrutiatingly painful. "Where was the fight?" is is a novel in four words. These are body shots, S, straight to the liver. Now I'm gonna start out Saturday all mopey and nostalgic. Looking back, as it were. Best, Jim |
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Drauntz Member Elite
since 2007-03-16
Posts 2905Los Angeles California |
absolutely beautiful, my dear SB. YOU are a such great writer. a Beauty. I am writing while listening to the tube music....a dream land. esp love "He took my head between his hands and his eyes were sea and sand-- he had to duck to kiss me and I didn't want the man to stop," You know. when I read "sea and sand"...you must want to dive in and stay there forever. me too. write more, dear lady. have a wonderful weekend. |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
One of your finest pieces, and there are a lot of them. I now love Tom. Love you too Karen  "too bad ignorance isn't painful" |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
The animae (is that the spelling?) was a perfect match to the mood you set here, Ser. Those were some moving and very special moments you shared and the love came through. So many emotions here. Love you.......jojo |
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Roniece Dawson-Bruce Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689Sydney, Australia |
stunning write Serenity... as always xx RDB Be kind at heart....for everyone you meet has their own battle to fight......... |
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Paul Wilson
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711United States |
Karen...Heartfelt write. Enjoyed very much. I once knew an oyster fisherman named Tom and you described him to a tee...Paul ~~To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you~~ |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Jim, you are way more than kind, and thanks for indulging me in one of my narrative spins. All of you are so graciously kind to me--I can't emphasize enough how much I appreciate your encouragement. And Paullie? You may well have known Tom--he had a little trailer off Hwy. 23, but mostly lived on the water. Tom was found dead there, in that little trailer, with a bullet in his head. So if that's what became of your friend, then it's very likely we share some fond memories of a gentle man, who loved, more than anything else, a sunrise/sunset over the Gulf of Mexico. Love to all--especially Tom. |
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latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
Serenity, this is hauntingly beautiful and drained the depth of me each time I read it.The music and pictures were just a perfect fit. You are a wonder. sincerely, latearrival |
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1slick_lady Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088standing on a shadow's lace |
your writing is just so so incredible i am blessed to know you |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Serenity...may many remember, or in future, be blessed, with such thoughts of a Tom in their own light... well done, m'friend... you never, ever, disappoint anyone.  |
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