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navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #40 » Communion
Open Poetry #40
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Huan Yi
Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688
Waukegan
0 posted 2007-06-21 11:17 AM

.


An orange tone
At almost dusk

The day’s been spent
As usual
Without highs or lows
The quiet hours
Taking in the light

We watch the sun
Going down
You rest your hand
Upon my own

Yes I know
I want it too
To be like that

In the east
A hunter’s moon


.
© Copyright 2007 John Pawlik - All Rights Reserved
Robert Jordan
Member
since 2007-02-07
Posts 392
Philadelphia Pa USA
1 posted 2007-06-21 11:29 AM

Huan Yi,

This would be clearer with some Standard English Language punctuation, and capitalization.

Bobby
Drauntz
Member Elite
since 2007-03-16
Posts 2905
Los Angeles California
2 posted 2007-06-21 12:55 PM

too beautiful a scene in dusk is a sign of earthquake. enjoy or not?
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navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #40 » Communion

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