Don't want to see you dying, pal,but if you have to choke
It may as well be handled by a Balladeer type joke.
I'll mutter some frivolity of Toe the Silly Fool
And see you drop your Coors and go down headfirst off your stool.

What do beer bottles and Toerag have in common?
They are both empty from the neck up


911 will be called and it will be a real treat
To hear you mouth still chuckle as they try to find a beat.
You'll scream out, "Balladeer, you rock!" behind the tape and gauze
And music will be muted by the force of your guffaws.

Toerag thinks that fast food is hitting a deer at 60 mph!

The funeral will be quite nice....the Pipsters will be there
And folks will wonder as the giggles come from - who knows where?
Little Johnny will say, "Momma, is the body making noise?"
As I stand there in stitches trying hard to keep my poise.

Toerag got fired from the M&M factory.
He kept throwing away the W's!

As I pallbear you to your spot I'll whisper little quips
Some gems for you to carry as you make the final trip.
Let's face it, good pal Toerag. After all that we've been through
Sending you off happy is the least that I can do!

How do you spot Toerag at a nudist colony?
It ain't hard.

And then the lowering of the box, the tossing of the rose..
(Well, dandelions look like roses somewhat, I suppose).
Though they will blame the wind, the last sound everyone will hear
Are muffled laughs and one loud scream..."You kill me, Balladeer!"

No, I'm not going with you 'cause I heard a little rumor
That fellow with the pitchfork's got a lousy sense of humor.
Besides, you're more than qualified to raise a little Hell
Give my regards to beezil, bub and know I wish you well.