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Open Poetry #40
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Huan Yi
Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688
Waukegan

0 posted 2007-05-04 02:42 PM


.


Our emperor calls
So you must go to war
In summer fields
The grasses tremble  

Clipped finger nails
A small lock of hair
Left behind
Should you not be found

The entire village waves goodbye
With battle flags and loud banzais
Yet before you go my young samurai
Let me whisper this in your ear

Recall each day no matter what
Those Bushido idiots shout about
There’s no good father
That doesn’t want
His son back safely home


.

© Copyright 2007 John Pawlik - All Rights Reserved
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
1 posted 2007-05-04 03:46 PM


Such a powerful truth in your ending... I really like this! *S*
secondhanddreampoet
Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394
a 'Universalist' !
2 posted 2007-05-04 06:20 PM


This is VERY good!
[rather timeless and true];

I especially savored:

"...you must go to war
In summer fields
The grasses tremble"

Applause!!

Startime55
Member Elite
since 2003-04-05
Posts 2148
Alberta, Canada
3 posted 2007-05-04 06:51 PM


Your words are so very powerful...the ending is perfect and honest...*Big Hugs*
Huan Yi
Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688
Waukegan
4 posted 2007-05-04 07:21 PM


Thank you all,

SHDP

The lines are a deliberate allusion to:

Summer grasses—

all that’s left
of warriors' dreams.

Basho


Thanks again

John

Drauntz
Member Elite
since 2007-03-16
Posts 2905
Los Angeles California
5 posted 2007-05-04 09:08 PM


a wonderful piece.

the call
the silent hopeless
the great noise
then the whisper
the connection with life still there though the body left... the sole purpose of fighting...to live not to die.
a very powful one.

I have read through your poems.
my personal favorite are

1. Eagle 3-27-2005
2. Reaper posted 1-31-2007
3. Papa 3-26-2007
4. Leonidas 2-20-2005
5. Peach Blossom Bay 5-2-2007 which I believe is genuine one of your many "shinning" facets.
there are more. If I have time I shall group them...(after I learned to use library here) They taste differently .

thank you for sharing those poems in PIP

[This message has been edited by Drauntz (05-04-2007 10:32 PM).]

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