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Open Poetry #40
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| Open Poetry #40 |
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Creator |
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Meggen Junior Member
since 2007-04-26
Posts 15St. Paul, Mn |
Like a crowd whispering mysteries, This river flows, following its course down— Out of sight. Many think out of reach. Those who watch only wondering How fast the current may be rushing, How massive the waves might rise Further down. Children’s feet, mother and father’s feet, Those who were here before, and those to come, All wading in the river, our river. But only fearfully wading, Looking on towards the horizon, Never going up or down the Stream we call our own. Up this river is another also waiting, Dipping her feet in the water, Looking on towards a horizon that will never end. In waves I hear her ask, is there more? But my answer never reaches her For the current sweeps it up And it rushes on further down. Megg. |
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| © Copyright 2007 Meggen V. Kramer - All Rights Reserved | |||
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carter07 Junior Member
since 2007-04-26
Posts 31 |
Overrall I enjoyed it, you might consider rephrasing "children's feet, mother and father's feet" I think there might be a better way to word it that adds to the poem instead of distracting from it. But other than that I think its great! I love how you embodied the river. Very very good! |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
I think this is fabulous just the way it is. Welcome, Meggen. Wonderful poem! miscellanea |
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