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Open Poetry #40
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In your grip
| Open Poetry #40 |
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In your grip |
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Jenna Member
since 2007-03-20
Posts 180 |
One more step and you'll push me right over the edge, your words teter nervously on my heart. Your love threatens to catch me off balance threatening my fall. You hold me in the depths of your soul at times barely holding me, at other times consuming me. Theres no escape, no room to breathe-you have me in your clutches, theres nowhere else to turn. The 4 walls close in, your heart and eyes suffocate me-whole, uncontained and rich. But you can push me away just as easily as you hold me, thrusting me out into a world unknown where everything is distant and everything is black. This is the power of you... |
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| © Copyright 2007 Jenna - All Rights Reserved | |||
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
I know of a person just like this funny how people can be so powerful |
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Drauntz Member Elite
since 2007-03-16
Posts 2905Los Angeles California |
how true your love is!! |
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Aurelian Member
since 2007-03-20
Posts 109TX, USA |
Excellent imagery - a real portrait. Maybe you could change "you have me in your clutches" to something a little less cliched, and clean up a couple misspellings - but I really liked it. |
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Angel4aKing Senior Member
since 2006-09-27
Posts 1372USA |
I know the feeling ~~~kingsangel~~~ |
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Jenna Member
since 2007-03-20
Posts 180 |
Yeah I dont like the ``you have me in your clutches`` bit either, I will think of something else. Thanks for all your advice, thoughts and praise! |
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A Romantic Heart Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-03
Posts 5496Forever In Your Heart |
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Ericc Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178 |
Wow...really powerful writing! Eric |
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