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4017 Massachusetts
| Open Poetry #40 |
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4017 Massachusetts |
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Huan Yi Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688Waukegan 
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. Dusk sets On the neighborhood And again some incautious ant Has been caught in the sap That drips down the trunk Of the old oak in the front yard Perhaps before it died It saw young boys intent on war Galloping up and down the road The well fed cat passing across the street To its usual hunt in the empty lot Becoming a tiger in the weeds Those brick and wooden houses With tarpaper roofs Which somehow seemed so sepulchral That no son really wanted to go inside So the stars will sparkle If only for just a little longer On a troop of bicycles Bound and determined For one last charge . |
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| © Copyright 2007 John Pawlik - All Rights Reserved | |||
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
I can close my eyes and see it all another great write! |
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JLHunter Senior Member
since 2006-10-08
Posts 557CA United States |
Hi, John. This is a wonderful, ethereal write. The imagery is spot-on, as I recall it from my childhood. I never wanted to go inside, either. This sure takes me back. It is said that the sense of smell is one of the most evocative, and right now I can "smell" that childhood neighborhood, clearly. Excellent write! John I prefer to be a dreamer among the humblest, with visions to be realized, than lord among those without dreams and desires. -Khalil Gibran |
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Huan Yi Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688Waukegan |
. Thank you both JLH, this was brought on by reading a poem by Donald Justice reflecting on his childhood in Florida which sparked me to drift back, to him, on my own in Northwest Indiana. Thanks again John . |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Somehow this takes me to a song I've loved, whose German title translates roughly to "The Little Pub, On Our Street." Maybe it's the gentle rhythm of the piece, the sense of ending-but-not-ending day implicit in the imagery, or maybe it's the smalltownness of it all, I just don't know. I do know it's going to my Library. "...Dort in der Kneipe In unserer Straße, Da fragt Dich keiner, Was Du hast oder bist....." ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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Huan Yi Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688Waukegan |
Thanks Ed, I feel this one is a level above my usual. I always seem to do best when some other poem causes someone unseen inside to respond. I really think this will be the one I throw on the Illinois Poetry Society site deep in this coming summer. Thanks again John PS the one you sparked today wouldn't be bad for that site in May |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Your work is always high quality, but this is one of my favorites... you take the reader THERE... to both place and time. Excellent!! |
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TerryW Senior Member
since 2000-03-23
Posts 779Louisville, Mississippi, USA |
Wow, Very powerful. I enjoyed very much. Thanks for sharing!! Terry ~you reached inside, you touched my heart, |
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icequeen Senior Member
since 2001-12-09
Posts 633FL USA |
Now John, you know you have a special poet place in my poet soul - and poetry like this is the best example of why! I grew up in Florida (I'm still here lol - I've never lived anywhere else, and refuse to grow up!) You have painted the exact picture of what it was like. I can see that huge oak in front of my Granny's old house, where we used to build forts for the ants, and try to rescue the ones stuck in the ooze from the trees lol... and the bikes propped up against the carport poles... I guess the world is not as big as it seems sometimes. Caroline He who wants a rose must respect the thorn. |
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dingusjr Member
since 2003-09-24
Posts 415Missouri |
Mmmm...a MUST read for everyone! |
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