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Open Poetry #40
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Eye, Critical [Duet]
| Open Poetry #40 |
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Eye, Critical [Duet] |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart 
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Eye, Critical I see Eve’s eras have softened your face from the brilliant future it once held; still, and were I a man I would embrace such love, plumped by maturity and wisdom, knowing the oldest copper teapot still sings. Salient eye resistant to blue's fading ring flashing and splashing light moon's circle a pearl to wear against the desperate fading of life what need of repair? And now, since time has passed, is it proper to inquire of things personal; share now might you, in how you perceived yourself, then, other than assured, forthright, some burgeoning apple of everyone’s eye? See the luscious breast so curved a raindrop falls and stays allured by sure felt wisdom finally past time’s grind of wanting what it could not have Or were you more like me, some great-eyed blossom yet to be, in your own chameleon eye’s measure ~ would you have changed something about you, ever wondering, but making do with what you thought was God’s joke? Would I change the river's course from place it started sweet and pure running faster hitting rocks and splash to some far destiny, willingly unsure? Was your eye so critical that you came late to know comfort, only now to flip black over white with yet more colorful days immortalized? In black and white I held his hand with trust the dream's nightmare and despair would go and yet the years were slow so slow And from those very memories of your earlier, more critical eye, can you now smile at what once was a beautiful someone who never thought to think herself and so, Alive now, alight with color fine within my mind I'm more perfect than that fragile little girl whose curls hid a lie. And, Had I jumped to grand of now I’d not have learned by sticks and blows a following of river’s flow to the sea, and me, and know of Salient eye resistant to green’s fading ring flashing and splashing light of a better me and if we had only known… might we now smile at this day’s victory, and still be here for tomorrow’s mystery? ~*~  A Martie and Sunshine Duet |
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| © Copyright 2007 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved | |||
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The Lady Member Rara Avis
since 2005-12-26
Posts 7634The Southwest |
I cannot seem to leave this alone what magic have you two done here? whatever it is it moves my heart and brings a memory I cannot name |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
having been away from here most of the day and about to turn in for the night, this was a wonderful poem to read and I knew before I even saw the picture who the duet was  lovely! |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
I too knew..before I saw the picture. A riveting piece..well done you two!  ~ Time has cast a spell on you, |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Thanks, Sissie ... for the pleasure of dueting with you again. |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
 fantabulous ladies! |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
So very very lovely ladies~ *Huglets* ~*Marge*~ ~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~ |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Two days now, searching for words....and I finally have one: ENCORE!!! Two of our best and dearest voices, blending...now I have another word, ambrosia. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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ThisDiamond Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353Michigan, USA |
..."and if we had only known… might we now smile at this day’s victory, and still be here for tomorrow’s mystery?" Ladies, I must have read this five times at least, savoring the conversation and trying on each line. What a magnificent duet you make! TD |
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aziza Member Elite
since 2006-07-09
Posts 2995Lumpy Oatmeal makes me Crazy! |
I, too, have been reading and re-reading. There's not much that I can say except I am just caught in a web of beauty. A |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
As is my wont I owe this read to Martie... while I started it, she added her own finesse, and without her words you would not have read this over, and over. And I think that is the finest compliment, to see those lines of "I'm still reading" or "I've read this, over and over". Yes, I think that is the finest compliment of all. Thank you. And Sis? Danka. |
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MGROVES
since 2004-02-01
Posts 3802california |
beautiful~ My spirit will rise |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
This is marvelous, you two! ...jo |
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Larry C
since 2001-09-10
Posts 10286United States |
Ladies, Ah, to have known the truth when young and more perfect than can be admitted is only bested by wisdom to know that one is even better with age. And may I say "I have savored both". I bow in humble adoration of knowledge gained and beauty shared. If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, |
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SmartChick Member Rara Avis
since 2001-09-23
Posts 7081On A Journey To The Unknown |
You two write very well together. |
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Honeybunch Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115South Africa |
Wow! An amazing write from two amazing poets with amazing insight. Simply amazing! Oh, I did say "amazing", didn't I? |
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