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Bear Chested
| Corner Pub #3 |
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Bear Chested |
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turtle Senior Member
since 2009-01-23
Posts 548Harbor 
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Okay! I can't stand it anymore! What is a pub without "pub" poetry? Bear Chested The necklace hung around her neck With golden bear upon her chest. She flicked her cig' and left a fleck Of ash on my new Woudy vest. She said; "I'm sorry sir to soil you so." And, to effect, a simple cure The barmaid gave a little blow Across my fancy vest couture. The next stop was to see my chums, I showed up at the normal drudge. A mongrel bunch of nosy bums, Now quested that I might adjudge. "The little barmaid up the street? I'd really like to get to know, She looks so darn bear chested sweet. "Why, she gave me a Woudy blow!" Turtle |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Clever, turtle...love the play on words  You had a little too much adrenalin on the first line of the second stanza, though. A couple of extra syllables got in there and tossed the meter out the barroom window!  |
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Alison 
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Very clever and funny. Thanks for the smile and I like the pub that you frequent. Alison |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
Very cute - bear indeed  |
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turtle Senior Member
since 2009-01-23
Posts 548Harbor |
Thank you all for commenting  Balladeer, Yep! This is an old one I wrote before I had a good grasp of meter. I suppose this could be easily fixed with: "I'm sorry sir to soil you so." She said, and for a simple cure, But, I kinda like it the way it is I know, I'm stuborn. [This message has been edited by turtle (02-01-2009 03:45 PM).] |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
I started reading this and knew in my heart that Balladeer would be hot on the trail to be the first to comment. It's his kind of poem - mine too.. |
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Postscript624 New Member
since 2009-02-06
Posts 1 |
Very nice, I love this style of poetry. It brought a smile to my face! |
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Joyce Johnson
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912Washington State |
Very good. Glad to find it here. Joyce |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Very cute...you might even keep the pub humming...write on! |
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Hope Fleeting Member
since 2009-02-23
Posts 52Smalltown, Somewhere |
Very amusing Thanks for taking the time to post it here.~ Previously Known as Broken_Winged_Angel and BrokenWinged_Angel~ |
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