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Corner Pub #3
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turtle
Senior Member
since 2009-01-23
Posts 548
Harbor

0 posted 2009-02-01 12:21 PM


Okay! I can't stand it anymore! What is a pub without "pub" poetry?

Bear Chested

The necklace hung around her neck
With golden bear upon her chest.
She flicked her cig' and left a fleck
Of ash on my new Woudy vest.

She said; "I'm sorry sir to soil you so."
And, to effect, a simple cure
The barmaid gave a little blow
Across my fancy vest couture.

The next stop was to see my chums,
I showed up at the normal drudge.
A mongrel bunch of nosy bums,
Now quested that I might adjudge.

"The little barmaid up the street?
I'd really like to get to know,
She looks so darn bear chested sweet.
"Why, she gave me a Woudy blow!"

Turtle


© Copyright 2009 turtle - All Rights Reserved
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
1 posted 2009-02-01 02:48 AM


Clever, turtle...love the play on words

You had a little too much adrenalin on the first line of the second stanza, though. A couple of extra syllables got in there and tossed the meter out the barroom window!

Alison
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Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
2 posted 2009-02-01 03:49 AM


Very clever and funny.

Thanks for the smile and I like the pub that you frequent.

Alison

Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
3 posted 2009-02-01 01:11 PM


Very cute - bear indeed
turtle
Senior Member
since 2009-01-23
Posts 548
Harbor
4 posted 2009-02-01 01:54 PM


Thank you all for commenting

Balladeer,

Yep! This is an old one I wrote before I had a good grasp of meter. I suppose this could be easily fixed with:

"I'm sorry sir to soil you so."
She said, and for a simple cure,

But, I kinda like it the way it is
I know, I'm stuborn.

[This message has been edited by turtle (02-01-2009 03:45 PM).]

Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
5 posted 2009-02-04 09:03 AM


I started reading this and knew in my heart that Balladeer would be hot on the trail to be the first to comment.  It's his kind of poem - mine too..


Postscript624
New Member
since 2009-02-06
Posts 1

6 posted 2009-02-06 11:40 PM


Very nice, I love this style of poetry.

It brought a smile to my face!

Joyce Johnson
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Member Rara Avis
since 2001-03-10
Posts 9912
Washington State
7 posted 2009-02-10 01:26 PM


Very good.  Glad to find it here. Joyce
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
8 posted 2009-02-10 03:13 PM


Very cute...you might even keep the pub humming...write on!


Hope Fleeting
Member
since 2009-02-23
Posts 52
Smalltown, Somewhere
9 posted 2009-02-23 03:33 AM


Very amusing Thanks for taking the time to post it here.

~ Previously Known as Broken_Winged_Angel and BrokenWinged_Angel~

I know when to bow my head in defeat and move on...

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