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JohnnyWood
New Member

since 2007-03-26

Posts 8

0 posted 2007-03-26 05:28 PM

Hannah dreads the soon opening
of her gates to the swarm
Flytraps on the sill
Feebly malicious
She hides behind a canvas
And a daunting
Bowling pin troop
Of dusty wine bottles
On the other sill
Soaking in the sky's
Scrutinizing eye
As she photographs in pastel
Bent skyscrapers
Taking not a lick of care
To the pencilled lines
"Lines are rips in the fabrics
Of abstract" she mumbles
Lipping a Virginia Slim
Her silhouette trembles
Broken and charred
Through a sun-bled
Mesh of promotional
Flyers
With reflections of India
In the color schemes
Carelessly slapped on the window
With rotting tape
And tattered flesh
Hannah enjoys my attention
Every so often
She pokes her freckled neck out
To eye my scribbles
Even her smile is abstract
With an unhealthy slouch,
She hovers as a comfortable spirit
While her mind
Waits back in Paris
In the aromatherapy of bistros
Of yellow and pink

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

1 posted 2007-03-26 07:48 PM

JW~
Your stylistic wording is like paint on the canvas~
VERY appealing to read~

WELCOME to PiP ... there are many fine and talented writers here within this friendly circle~
You are a wonderful breath of fresh ink~

*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~
Email - [email protected]

minus
Member

since 2007-03-24

Posts 75

2 posted 2007-03-27 03:40 AM

the aromatherapy of bistros...nice...and the rest is too much to comment on--i would have to paragraph each line. bravo.

Joyce Johnson

Member Rara Avis

since 2001-03-10

Posts 9912
Washington State

3 posted 2007-03-27 09:10 PM

Welcome to Passions. I am enjoying your word paintings. Joyce

JohnnyWood
New Member

since 2007-03-26

Posts 8

4 posted 2007-03-27 09:20 PM

Guys, I really appreciate the feedback. It looks as if I've stumbled upon a fine place to hang my hat for a while. Looking forward to reading everyone's work!

Usually just jot down what I see, then make it all up in the rewrite

Denise

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-08-22

Posts 22648

5 posted 2007-04-01 09:59 AM

Welcome to PIP, Johnny! I enjoyed this very much!

midnightblues
Senior Member

since 2000-07-01

Posts 1597
Singapore

6 posted 2007-04-02 07:33 AM

Hello Johnny,

Welcome welcome!!
Very insightful piece, hope to see more of your works.

Love,
MiCheLLe

If there cannot be equal in affection, then let the one with more be me - midnightblues

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

7 posted 2007-04-08 08:55 PM

Oh good night...put the blade away
and sit back to enjoy your time here.

This was wonderful, and I even imagined
your character to have red hair even before
I read of her freckles!

Please,

check your Email for a Very Special Greeting!

" It matters not this distance now " Excerpt, Yesterday's Love
~*~
KRJ

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