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fanatic-flyer
Junior Member

since 2007-02-07

Posts 26
Bournemouth

0 posted 2007-06-14 05:38 PM

I feel the cold
As I was told
My mother
Didn't want me

I stood aghast
My heart beating fast
She turned
And didn't look back

The rain began
I looked at this man
His home
I shivered inside

He led me to the door
I shivered some more
This place
I didn't belong

I turned and ran
Away from the man
Scared
And all alone

My mum was gone
I felt like a bomb
Nobody
Ever wanted me

Thanks for everything, because everything makes the world happy =)

RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed
Senior Member

since 2007-06-11

Posts 1062
In Love <3

1 posted 2007-06-14 06:21 PM

ouch pain

I stuck my bare hand into your rip cage and fished around until I found your heart ripped it out tore it apart while saying You dont need this anymore

surf_painter
Member

since 2007-04-10

Posts 434
Canada

2 posted 2007-06-14 07:05 PM

that sounds soo painful but i must say emotions are very good in writing poems

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

3 posted 2007-06-15 11:50 AM

awe this was such a sad poem... But there is always going to be someone out there that doees want you and needs you. Always someone.
hunnie.

~fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me~

fanatic-flyer
Junior Member

since 2007-02-07

Posts 26
Bournemouth

4 posted 2007-06-15 04:57 PM

thanks for the nice comments

Thanks for everything, because everything makes the world happy =)

rhia_5779
Senior Member

since 2006-06-09

Posts 1334
California

5 posted 2007-06-15 06:32 PM

Strong emotions, it was very disjointed I don't know if that was what you were going for though. But the voice was strong and shone through well. The pain expressed itself . Heartbreak and sorrow.
I'm sorry if this is true

RhIa

myheartbleedsrazorblades
Junior Member

since 2007-06-11

Posts 13
Canada

6 posted 2007-06-16 02:30 AM

My god. I thought that was amazing. It was sad and powerful and gripped me right to the end. It's nice to find a poem which is short and fairly simple but is so compelling. Just remember though, everyone will most definitly for sure find someone who loves them... someday.

Look on the bright side of life. Dont take it all to seriuosly!

fanatic-flyer
Junior Member

since 2007-02-07

Posts 26
Bournemouth

7 posted 2007-06-16 05:37 PM

Thank you, no this sn't happening to me personally, i just write it, but thankyou, all your comments really help me!

Thanks for everything, because everything makes the world happy =)

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