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Why
| Teen Poetry #8 |
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Why |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
Why Why do I feel i'm lost, deep down in some dark hole, and somewhere along the way, I somehow lost my soul, Why do I feel empty, with no place to turn, it seems i'm striking matches, just to watch them burn, but i'm trying to find some light, some help I can't ignore, so why do I feel so lonley? it's 'cos you can't save me anymore. ~fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me~ [This message has been edited by hunnie_girl (04-06-2007 12:07 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2007 Krysti - All Rights Reserved | |||
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RevengeIsMine Senior Member
since 2006-07-08
Posts 820Australia |
I like this.. This is kinda what i'm thinking at the moment.. Its like the whole worlds a huge disappointment and your always being saved or picked up when you fall down but this time its different you don't wanna be saved and you don't want to be picked up, because you know your going to fall down again and each time you fall down, its so much harder to get back up!! Nice Write.. (Sorry Bout Me Blabbering) |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Hi Hunnie, I loved this piece, especially the part about watching matches burn, very, intriguing. The only thing I would change would be the "but I'm just trying to find some light" ?I would remove the "just" I think it flows better without. Thanks for sharing this wonderful piece, I enjoyed the read  "The rising morning can't insure that we shall end the day; For death stands ready at the door to snatch our lives away" |
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Clockwork_Orange Senior Member
since 2007-03-23
Posts 620Space Camp, IN |
i loved the analagy about the matches. it really stuck out to me. i loved this alot. |
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