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Teen Poetry #8

rain

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New Member

since 2007-03-16

Posts 1

0 posted 2007-03-16 10:40 AM

okay, i am NOT new here, my previous account was Renegade but it wasn't working for me so i registered a new one. So umm... this is metaphorical to life in general as far as this poem goes, though i doubt people will realize the double-meaning

The rain pours down
With nothing to do
but search around
And watch others too

The wind starts to blow
My umbrella flies away
but of course although
I would rather stay

It's harder to stand
without falling back down
On the hard muddy land
Back on the wet ground

I look in the air
And sigh once more
I wish someone would care
Then the rain stops to pour

Is it my lucky day?
I look in the sky
But to my dismay
He gently says hi

Maybe life is much better
Than what I've gone to believe
He hands me his sweater
To the indoors we go leave

*wishfull*thinking*
Junior Member

since 2006-09-03

Posts 33
north east of england

1 posted 2007-03-16 03:54 PM

i thought it was really good, my fav bit was

I look in the air
And sigh once more
I wish someone would care
Then the rain stops to pour

but any ways well done and i hope to read more
x

I have been waiting all of my life
for you to come along and make everything alright
My body is shaking right through my bones,
so take me by the

rhia_5779
Senior Member

since 2006-06-09

Posts 1334
California

2 posted 2007-03-20 03:36 PM

i liked the second stanza and I'm pretty sure that I interpeted the double meaning.

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