Teen Poetry #8 |
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Too late |
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
you already betrayed Too late Theres the trouble you made not in time all the lies you told Already said the rumours you started can't stop you didn't realize in time whose heart you were breaking well you were breaking mine too late, you are forsaken already you destroyed crushed were spitefull and mean Wrong cheated on life Karma somehow you'll pay big debts your too late to ever come back I'll you push you away harsh but too bad give it up, don't even try stop pretending you cried I never hurt you, you never cared now your complaining, when you played unfair. |
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nostalgic*pride Member
since 2006-08-23
Posts 122NowhereVille |
I like this one. Very emotional. Good job. |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
Hi Rhia, Umm, I'm not sure what to think! This isn't the "usual" style I see you write with, I think? It's kind of interesting the way you wrote it... I thought that the flow was kind of choppy, that could just be more, or were you trying for that effect? I kind of liked it like that. It made for more breaks to contemplate what you were saying in the poem, which was great, because I couldn't take it all in at once because of the choppy-ness... that doesn’t really make sense does it^^ I liked it though; and I hope to see more from you in the near future ![]() "I pray thee, O God, that I |
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*Alli4000*![]()
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188The World of Poetry |
Hey Rhia! I really like this poem by you. I agree with Stargal in that I liked how the flow was kind of choppy, it gave a little something extra to the poem. Overall, nice job. Thanks for sharing! ![]() ~Alli~ |
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