Teen Poetry #8 |
Compensation |
tapper798 Member
since 2003-07-20
Posts 353My own world |
I don’t want to be just one more girl on your list, Just one more girl you can tell your friends you kissed. I don’t want to be around for another girls compensation, The girl who waits without a clue, that’s not my reputation. Don’t tell me pretty lies if you don’t plan on following them through, I don’t want to hear about all the girls that are chasing after you. I’d give it all up for you, what part of that don’t you see. What makes you think it’s ok to make me act so desperately. Stop making me believe you care when in the blink of an eye you’re gone, You’ll come back to lick your wounds, and proceed to tell me I was wrong. I’m tired of spending nights like these, I hate these stupid tears I’m crying, How is it that you can manage to break my heart when you’re not even trying? AIM-beatufu1tragidy |
||
© Copyright 2007 Erin - All Rights Reserved | |||
forever*wishing Member
since 2006-05-29
Posts 178where my heart is |
oh my gosh, i cant believe no one has posted on this one yet...i loved it...the only part that sounded a little bit "rough" i guess was the third row, or stanza or whatever you call it, but other than that...nice! = )...even though, im not much of a "critic" ...i make so many mistakes, its hard to see the right among it all...but there is some...anyway, nice flow, and rhyming. = ) ::gives thumbs up:: |
||
the_girl_next_door Senior Member
since 2006-02-26
Posts 591USA |
wow... I loved this.. at first i thought that this wasn't your best but after i read the last line I was like "woa" it was amazing..that last stanza really hit hard. wonderful write.. I was looking for your work and I didn't even see this one until i searched your name and went to where it showed all of your poems. I'm glad i found it. Great write! ~heather~ ps-if you ever have something posted for a while and i have not commented on it then i probably havne't read it so.. send me an email and let me know bc i love your poems! Desire nothing except desirelessness. Hope for nothing except to rise above all hopes. |
||
pip_man Member
since 2006-07-15
Posts 70Canada |
I agree with pretty much everything already said. When I started I didn't think it was going to be one of your best, but by the last line I really like it. Great write! Can't wait to see more! "When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace." |
||
⇧ top of page ⇧ | ||
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |