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Teen Poetry #8

I may

chiLanta
Junior Member

since 2006-12-01

Posts 47

0 posted 2006-12-23 09:35 PM

today the tears are falling
Falling towards my heart
Yesterday I was in love
Today i'm torn apart

memories fade
that is what some say
yet the ones of us
are in my heart to stay

I dont want to see you
b/c I dont want to cry
I know you are gone now
I was there when you said goodbye

I may miss you
and my tears may fall
but you no longer rule my heart
you arent the one i wait for to call

it is NOT done yet but i had to save it tell me what you guys think so far

DucksCanFly
Junior Member

since 2006-12-20

Posts 20

1 posted 2006-12-24 05:28 AM

I really like this one. I think it's got a great flow and I can really relate to it, probably like alot of people who have lost someone they care about. You've also expressed it really well.
I'd love to see the finished one

Eli
Junior Member

since 2006-12-23

Posts 10

2 posted 2006-12-24 05:39 AM

I agree with you this is right from the heart and im going through something like this atm to and yes im sure every one would love to see the finished version.

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

3 posted 2006-12-29 01:53 AM

today the tears are falling
Falling towards my heart
Yesterday I was in love
Today i'm torn apart~

as a start this is amazing i liked where it's headed and i cant wait to see more
Welcome to Passions. this was a great first post and i hope to read more from you soon

hunnie

~fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me~

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