Teen Poetry #8 |
It was way to Underly-Overdramatic |
whitelielovely Member
since 2006-12-11
Posts 146Australia |
It was way to underly-overdramatic The way you held yourself Not ever enough of you, I took too little too soon I want out of this way of living Never going to the one I need Your not what I though I knew Because I thought I was like you I guess time was right had to be I never knew the sun to shine like that It touched my pale self on my way out The only way I was to see without doubt It was way to underly-overdramatic That way we both suddenly reacted So we'll talk 'bout the day that one Where nothing made sense but fun You make me cry to see my eyes Shimmer with tears already shed You make me die inside with hurt forbidden Just to with your hand, make me live again It was way to underly-overdramatic The time I saw in me that went away Writing away to see the pain move slow Paper remember, so I can let it go I wanted lovely times and "A Someone" But I made mistakes sometimes the worst Mending these brought only worst pain then, When I realized it wouldnt erase my pen [This message has been edited by whitelielovely (12-13-2006 12:30 PM).] |
||
© Copyright 2006 Whittney Larraine Lovely - All Rights Reserved | |||
hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
I want out of this way of living Never going to the one I need Your not what I though I knew Because I thought I was like you~ my favorite stanza it stood out nicely to me although there was some grammar errors and stuff in it, it was good.... but the last line i wasn't too sure on was there a mistake in that line? cuz it didn't make sense... Welcome to Passions i hope to read more poems.... hunnie ~fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me~ |
||
whitelielovely Member
since 2006-12-11
Posts 146Australia |
well yeah, i'll fix that i just noticed it i'll fix it. thank you hunnie! -Lovely |
||
hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
that is better hunnie ~fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me~ |
||
⇧ top of page ⇧ | ||
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |