You Chose to Say Goodbye - pipTalk Forums

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tapper798
Member

since 2003-07-20

Posts 353
My own world

0 posted 2006-12-06 05:47 PM

She had the quirkiness you loved, had a heart of gold,
A passion for life evoked with every story that she told.
Her hair was a crazy mess, her eyes a beautiful blue,
She would have given up anything, just to be with you.

She didn't mean to give in, She didn't want to fall,
had too much heartbreak, she'd never let down that wall.
You made her smile day by day, tore down the hurt and pain,
Made her look inside her heart, and love herself again.

She was crazy about you, everything about you she adored.
But you didn't want the same thing, you didn't want more.
She waited forever for you, hoping you'd change with time,
Hoping that you'd fall back, but you didn't change your mind.

Bruised and broken, she finally gave up the fight,
laying on the cold hard floor, crying through the night.
She spent months hurting, wishing for what you were,
then realized with a broken heart, she couldn't make you love her.

One day you'll realize you made a mistake,
you'll try to go back but it'll be too late.
That pretty girl will have given up and gone,
found someone to love her when she was forced to move on.

But she'll never forget about the boy that stole her heart,
the one who made her day, but tore her world apart.
She'll still smile at you, captivated by your eyes,
but she'll move on knowing you chose to say goodbye.

-Erin

-------------------------------------------------
The last two stanza's I actually wrote first, and I really like how they came out. However, Im not sure about the rest. Let me know what you think!

AIM-beatufu1tragidy

Tell me what you think about being open, about being honest with yourself.

River Of Tears
Junior Member

since 2006-10-28

Posts 25
Canada!

1 posted 2006-12-06 05:51 PM

I think its really good! I really enjoyed it, it had lots of heart, and I think that many can relate

Great job by the way.

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

2 posted 2006-12-08 12:54 PM

Wow, Tapper that was awesome, it had a nice flow and it had a very nice story behind it.. you did a lot with the last 2 stanza and created a beautiful poem. i hope to read more from you...
hunnie

Better a witty fool than a foolish wit.
- Shakespeare

rhia_5779
Senior Member

since 2006-06-09

Posts 1334
California

3 posted 2006-12-08 01:38 PM

Amazing imagery, you make your writing come alive

'she couldn't make you love her'.

What about

You woudn't ever love her

Heartlight
New Member

since 2006-12-06

Posts 1
Illinois

4 posted 2006-12-08 05:31 PM

I'm new here and i just wanted to tell u that this is a great poem that is well written and has a subject that i think people can relate to

poemqueen
Junior Member

since 2006-12-06

Posts 26

5 posted 2006-12-09 06:19 PM

best one i heard yet

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