Teen Poetry #8 |
The Aussie Word Spinner |
RevengeIsMine Senior Member
since 2006-07-08
Posts 820Australia |
The Aussie Word Spinner I’m the word spinner, the Aussie wonder And I write the poems that pull you under. My long brown hair lies upon my face My life so shattered and fragile like lace Let me take you back when my skirt was short and I barley wore attire I wanted to let go of life but I was too young to retire I’m going to take you on one hell of a journey From America to Australia So Sit down be quite you have nothing to lose Your in my capture now and it’s your blood I will let ooze It’s my pain that’s eating me away and theirs nothing you can do Except sit here silently hoping I wont hurt you Your not to blame for how I feel I just need somebody to help me heal A soul so evil will leave your life a mess As your blood dries the pain from my body so lifeless If you were there to help me when I asked for it I wouldn’t be in a million pieces and all shattered to bits I would be happy with my life and ready to be alive I wouldn’t be alone of a Friday night; I’d be having lessons on jive I’m the word spinner, the Aussie wonder And I write the poems that pull you under Its now time for me to dine You’re my victim and Revenge Will Be Mine |
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© Copyright 2006 A Typical Aussie Chick - All Rights Reserved | |||
Tempest Member
since 2006-04-28
Posts 247dont eat paint chips!!!! |
this was an awesome read that had perfect rythm that just seemed to come off my tonhue as i read it loud. TEMP oh yah and im the one who gave her the title of Wordspinner yo lol |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
~I’m the word spinner, the Aussie wonder And I write the poems that pull you under Its now time for me to dine You’re my victim and Revenge Will Be Mine~ Wow that was amazing first and last stanzas just blew me away, it's something about the flow and rhyme and wow amazing... oh and good title Temp. :P hope to read more... hunnie A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war and a time for peace ~Ecclesiastes 3:8~ |
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pencil&paper Member
since 2006-09-09
Posts 76asleep somewhere in my head |
i agree that the 1st and last stanzas were the best, they just had that something overall i liked the poem alot "Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music."~Angela Monet |
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whitelielovely Member
since 2006-12-11
Posts 146Australia |
wow i really really really like your stuff. it had the most amazing flow, thats how poems should be, flow off your toung. wow. |
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whitelielovely Member
since 2006-12-11
Posts 146Australia |
hey, put "down under" with the under in the first and last stanzas, that would make it even more amazing! "Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it |
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DucksCanFly Junior Member
since 2006-12-20
Posts 20 |
Wow, I agree with everyone else who's commented on this. The first and last stanza were amazing and the entire thing had a really great flow! Amazing poem! |
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