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RevengeIsMine
Senior Member

since 2006-07-08

Posts 820
Australia

0 posted 2006-12-01 06:24 AM

The Aussie Word Spinner

I’m the word spinner, the Aussie wonder
And I write the poems that pull you under.
My long brown hair lies upon my face
My life so shattered and fragile like lace

Let me take you back when my skirt was short and I barley wore attire
I wanted to let go of life but I was too young to retire
I’m going to take you on one hell of a journey
From America to Australia

So Sit down be quite you have nothing to lose
Your in my capture now and it’s your blood I will let ooze
It’s my pain that’s eating me away and theirs nothing you can do
Except sit here silently hoping I wont hurt you

Your not to blame for how I feel
I just need somebody to help me heal
A soul so evil will leave your life a mess
As your blood dries the pain from my body so lifeless

If you were there to help me when I asked for it
I wouldn’t be in a million pieces and all shattered to bits
I would be happy with my life and ready to be alive
I wouldn’t be alone of a Friday night; I’d be having lessons on jive

I’m the word spinner, the Aussie wonder
And I write the poems that pull you under
Its now time for me to dine
You’re my victim and Revenge Will Be Mine

Tempest
Member

since 2006-04-28

Posts 247
dont eat paint chips!!!!

1 posted 2006-12-01 07:02 AM

this was an awesome read that had perfect rythm that just seemed to come off my tonhue as i read it loud.
TEMP

oh yah and im the one who gave her the title of Wordspinner yo lol

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

2 posted 2006-12-02 12:03 PM

~I’m the word spinner, the Aussie wonder
And I write the poems that pull you under
Its now time for me to dine
You’re my victim and Revenge Will Be Mine~

Wow that was amazing first and last stanzas just blew me away, it's something about the flow and rhyme and wow amazing... oh and good title Temp. :P
hope to read more...
hunnie

A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war and a time for peace ~Ecclesiastes 3:8~

pencil&paper
Member

since 2006-09-09

Posts 76
asleep somewhere in my head

3 posted 2006-12-10 11:01 PM

i agree that the 1st and last stanzas were the best, they just had that something
overall i liked the poem alot

"Those who danced were thought to be quite insane by those who could not hear the music."~Angela Monet

whitelielovely
Member

since 2006-12-11

Posts 146
Australia

4 posted 2006-12-13 12:40 PM

wow i really really really like your stuff. it had the most amazing flow, thats how poems should be, flow off your toung. wow.

whitelielovely
Member

since 2006-12-11

Posts 146
Australia

5 posted 2006-12-22 05:39 PM

hey, put "down under" with the under in the first and last stanzas, that would make it even more amazing!

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it
everyday."

Noelle - age 7

DucksCanFly
Junior Member

since 2006-12-20

Posts 20

6 posted 2006-12-23 11:30 AM

Wow, I agree with everyone else who's commented on this. The first and last stanza were amazing and the entire thing had a really great flow! Amazing poem!

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