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Teen Poetry #8
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Let Gandhi have his Peace
| Teen Poetry #8 |
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Let Gandhi have his Peace |
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Earl Robertson Senior Member
since 2008-01-21
Posts 753BC, Canada |
Let Gandhi have his Peace The lion roars It’s a kittens meow Tell half the story Vengeance to avow Let Judas have his silver And Gandhi have his peace Don’t have a thing to loose Except my friends increase The kitten roars But the sun shines down Can half a smile Reverse half a frown? How could it be worthless To let the swords rust To soften the hearts Turn the stone into dust? It’s a twisted question But it’s a twisted game I won’t touch your dice I won’t call upon your name Let Judas have his silver And Gandhi have his peace The immortal then can bleed Peaceful illusions cease My melancholy is purely my own |
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| © Copyright 2008 Frank Robertson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
I really like this- I thought the ideas were really good. I loved The kitten roars But the sun shines down Can half a smile Reverse half a frown? and the stanza right after it. Some of the rhyming came off off because it was inverse rhyme. Maybe try and see if you can reread it so it will read smoother but other than that it was really good. I liked it. |
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Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois |
"How could it be worthless To let the swords rust To soften the hearts Turn the stone into dust? It’s a twisted question But it’s a twisted game I won’t touch your dice I won’t call upon your name" Something about those two stanza's just made me fall in love with this poem. I really like your thoughts in it. But I'd have to admit at the beginning i was sorta confused about it. Like I didn't know what it was suppose to be about. Great poem over all though. -Zach So together but so broken inside |
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Earl Robertson Senior Member
since 2008-01-21
Posts 753BC, Canada |
Thanks guys! Rhia: I've read over it a few times and can't find the flow problem, could you be more specific so my advantage doesn't continue to blind me? Rain: Muahahahahahahahaha you will never know what this is about!!! ... What? My melancholy is purely my own |
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