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Teen Poetry #8

For My Mum...

Belinda
Member

since 2006-01-30

Posts 126
UK

0 posted 2006-10-31 05:20 AM

I thought things where bad,
Now they've gotten worse.
I can no longer talk to you,
Fear to show you when I'm hurt.

You feed of my weakness,
Seem to joy when I'm in pain.
This just isn't normal,
Things can never be the same.

Not so very long ago,
There was a little girl.
Her mummy loved her lots,
And so kept her from the world.

She held on to her baby,
Just a little to tight.
Until one day she slipped away,
Then they began to fight.

At first it started off,
With hurtful things being said.
But soon it progressed,
To violent blows to the head.

And then in one fight,
The mother screamed 'WHY?'.
Her daughter stopped to think,
And then began to cry.

'You can't make my mistakes for me,
I can do it on my own.
All I needed was your support,
For a bit of love to be shown'

So the little girl she had,
The one that once was.
The mother lost her daughter,
By holding her too close.

rhia_5779
Senior Member

since 2006-06-09

Posts 1334
California

1 posted 2006-10-31 05:09 PM

Very good, it lacked the strength the last stanza had.

BEst stanza in it

So the little girl she had,
The one that once was.
The mother lost her daughter,
By holding her too close.

Loved it

Belinda
Member

since 2006-01-30

Posts 126
UK

2 posted 2006-11-01 08:28 AM

Yeah I might try and rewrite it..baring in mind what you said