i love you - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Teen Poetry #8

i love you

pip_man
Member

since 2006-07-15

Posts 70
Canada

0 posted 2006-10-27 06:08 PM

I don't want to lose this love
That I feel for you.
It is something I will treasure,
I hope you will treasure it too.

As I wrap my arms around you
I can feel the beating of your heart
It makes me realize one thing,
I never want us to part.

I love everything about,
The way you smile at me,
The way you laugh at nothing,
I love you can't you see?

I know this needs more, and it is not one of my best, but I am having trouble writing poetry lately, but let me know what you think.

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace."
Jimi Hendrix

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

1 posted 2006-10-28 12:41 PM

this was a beautiful beggining to a poem, i liked this a lot... and i don't know if it's just me but did you just add your pic?
hunnie*

mgoodman1989
Member

since 2006-03-05

Posts 93
Iowa, USA

2 posted 2006-11-05 06:52 PM

nice write!!!

Aeris Nicole
Junior Member

since 2003-08-18

Posts 21

3 posted 2006-11-05 08:14 PM

short and to the point i liked!

nick_lyss
Member

since 2006-08-21

Posts 88

4 posted 2006-11-06 01:12 PM

wow really good.thats how i feel about my ex. i still love him.

pen&paper
Senior Member

since 2006-06-06

Posts 513

5 posted 2006-11-18 12:15 PM

I totally loved this poem! I thougth everything about it was great.

p.s. is that a pic of you?

toodles!,
pen

Match
Member

since 2002-07-01

Posts 286
Canada Edmonton

6 posted 2006-11-20 05:53 PM

Okay so let me get started nice pic ha ha now that that is over with,
I liked this poem it was sweet and lovey dovey but I think you could have added more too it. To me it didn't really feel like that was the end.
Hmm not sure if I'm making sense but any ways good write.

-Ash-

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.