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Teen Poetry #8
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No Courage, No Ability, No Bravery
| Teen Poetry #8 |
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No Courage, No Ability, No Bravery |
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RevengeIsMine Senior Member
since 2006-07-08
Posts 820Australia 
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No Courage, No Ability, No Bravery To the sunsets of an argument, As my heart and futures sigh There is nothing like the hurt that glistens in my eye All I asked was to be left alone But now I am left with this, The decision that faces me, The lemon flowered dress. God has never asked a lot from me And neither has my mum But how can I forgive, when the hurt is all but done? The scars have formed and my life has changed Not for better but for worse They have torched the soul that I had become Changed the life, that became the inspiration to some I stare longingly at the mirror, arms outstretched into the air A body full of hate glares back at me in despair The smell of burning flesh fills the atmosphere As Tears dry upon my face, hurt lingers near I see no bravery in my eyes anymore I’m not the person I used to be I have rotted to the core Only sadness, fill’s my vile heart and I can’t expect anymore My body’s lost and through the air may it forever soar. |
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| © Copyright 2006 A Typical Aussie Chick - All Rights Reserved | |||
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
I think you mean't to seperate the last stanza, also I liked it but the flow seemed off in cases, I don't know the rythmn seemed to break in bits. Going over it again and taking out small words that you don't need should fix the flow bit |
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Tempest Member
since 2006-04-28
Posts 247dont eat paint chips!!!! |
i didnt think the rhyming was off, but then again i can ussualy always find the rythm that the writer intended for it to have and to flow. you know what that means?......i read waaaay too much and need to get a life!thats what that means. you really are my fav poet of like all time(no offense to anyone else ur poetry is also very good and grabs me up to a diffrent world) its just that me and you kinda have the same writing style and that me and you write in the same genre, like the exact same! wierd how that happens when ive never even met you! i love having you post on here and if you want you can e-mail me at [email protected] k? |
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