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Teen Poetry #8

Understanding Me

PoetrySinger
Member

since 2006-10-16

Posts 54

0 posted 2006-10-19 10:30 AM

Precious decision, so near to my heart
Feeling only obsession in the womb
Feel only the freaks I have seen in between lives
Rightfully seeing you could only happen once
Maybe seeing rights and choices I have had
Writing ugly symbols on my wall
Feeling the mystickal things I can only feel
Living only for the mind I cannot understand

Renegade
Junior Member

since 2006-10-21

Posts 22

1 posted 2006-10-24 05:03 PM

It has a nice deep meaning and good wording though i think some more details and work on rhythym could be good

RevengeIsMine
Senior Member

since 2006-07-08

Posts 820
Australia

2 posted 2006-10-24 07:43 PM

This is a nice poem, I'm not going to say anymore than that as i dont like being the one to judge somebodys work. I think Renegade may have mentioned something

pen&paper
Senior Member

since 2006-06-06

Posts 513

3 posted 2006-10-28 01:30 PM

I kind of disagree with Renegade. I think that not all poems are meant to have rythym. Personally, i liked this. Kind of reminded me of a thought process or going over something in your head? Ya know?

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