Teen Poetry #8 |
choose your fate |
powerxxx Junior Member
since 2006-09-21
Posts 17 |
not very well written , but hope you like it --- This world, strange Destany, unexpected And people unpredictable Who could have thought things could trun around in such an instant ? Call it fate It's humanity's only true mate And the opening of everybodies fate Fate that unknown date As simple as sitting near lake Everything could turn out just fake not i nor you could give this life a rate It's too late To turn down fate The dicision we choose builds our fate And some of us could never throw away his hate towards his gate entitled "Your Fate" but wait ... It's not for those nor for anybody to decide where we end up and with who we might end up with My hands are the same as yours We build our own future , our own fates And we may sameday see our fate being destroyed by our destany But as for destany , it builds it self from our fates Never surrender to your destany You choose the path you walk in With your own hands , Your own will My friend , live to see that future And Choose Your Fate And Build Your Destany |
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© Copyright 2006 powerxxx - All Rights Reserved | |||
PoetrySinger Member
since 2006-10-16
Posts 54 |
your poem has so much meaning between the lines just keep up the good work and it will get better with each time |
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
Destany is actually destiny. The ryming seems really forced when there is ryming , it also doesn't make sense. As for the idea and the set up I actually liked the idea and that it wasnt too organized. Fate isn't that organized either so it is fitting. You need to devolop the idea a little bit more. |
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