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Teen Poetry #8
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The Dark Valentine
| Teen Poetry #8 |
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The Dark Valentine |
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rebelangelv Senior Member
since 2007-05-28
Posts 538usa |
ok yo this is like super old!!! but i found it in my notebook so yea i forgot to post it up. obviously it was written on valentines. it has an opposite and its titled "The Sweet Valentine" so go check that out too.  and btw, i know the flower colors are accurate or whatever but irdc lol Roses are red Violets are blue My heart is black All because of you Daises are yellow Tulips are white I loved you so much But all you did was fight Daffodils are green Carnations are purple You stabbed me in the heart Now all i do is bleed Some flowers are pretty Most of them just die (just like our love) So with the flowers in the ground I shall foever lie only a vampire can love you forever. |
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| © Copyright 2008 leah nelson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Earl Robertson Senior Member
since 2008-01-21
Posts 753BC, Canada |
Nice job. I liked this! One critique however: I would drop the "(just like our love)" in the last stanza, it interupted an otherwise exelent flow and didn't add to the meaning at all. (That's all in my opinion of course) Other than that great write! "Be Strong and Always Remember what made you you." Earl |
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rebelangelv Senior Member
since 2007-05-28
Posts 538usa |
ok cool...cuz like i didnt know what to do with it...so i put it there to see wut u guys would say. so thank!!! lol only a vampire can love you forever. |
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hiddensmiles Senior Member
since 2008-02-07
Posts 514at the beach... i wish |
i like this to nice job! |
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rebelangelv Senior Member
since 2007-05-28
Posts 538usa |
hahaha thnks only a vampire can love you forever. |
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Falling rain
since 2008-01-31
Posts 2178Small town, Illinois |
aww i was hoping to see a little comment at the end of your poem just like the last one haha. great write anyway!! lol |
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