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Lordadon
Junior Member

since 2008-02-14

Posts 18
Singapore

0 posted 2008-02-14 12:01 PM

Freestyle poetry

It's my last year in secondary school, and it will be my last military band competition, so i wrote this, because i have lots of memories from my band.

The plains of glory
Dawns nearer against us.
The tide of sea,
The sands of time,
Seeping sorrowfully through the
Hole of the hourglass.

One,two,three,four.
It's been so long since
Our first light.
Not much time is left
For us to remember,
The memorable time.

Let us lay down our hands,
Carve upon us this journey
We have gone through.
Remember these days.

If forgetfulness is due,
Let us treat this as dead skin,
Or the thistle on the ground.
As something that is composed,
As feathers of fire.
Let them be phoenixes.

To those this may concern,
I beseech you with grace.
Remember these days.

Edited to correct a mistake in spelling, last staza first line, mar---> may
first stanza,first line planis--->plains

[This message has been edited by Lordadon (02-15-2008 03:09 AM).]

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

1 posted 2008-02-14 01:37 PM

Yap,

Welcome to Passions! Your grasp of what should be taken with you in memory is delightful and heart-felt.

Please, check your email
for a very Special Greeting!

Earl Robertson
Senior Member

since 2008-01-21

Posts 753
BC, Canada

2 posted 2008-02-14 08:37 PM

Wheew...Great job. Welcome to Passions.

"Be Strong and Always Remember what made you you." Earl

"Ooo!!! Ooo!! I know! I know! um...he he" Earl
(Yes I am crazy)

Falling rain

Member Elite

since 2008-01-31

Posts 2178
Small town, Illinois

3 posted 2008-02-14 08:43 PM

Hi welcome ot Passsions. great first post! i can't wait to see more of your work!

~Zach~

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

4 posted 2008-02-15 01:01 AM

Fisrt off I love this poem, it iz very good. Secondly Welcome to Passions Yap, hope to read more soon

Krysti

Lordadon
Junior Member

since 2008-02-14

Posts 18
Singapore

5 posted 2008-02-15 02:57 AM

thanks for your comments, if there's anything not very good about my poems, feel free to always say anything about them=]

crimsonXnails
Member

since 2008-02-10

Posts 108
dark/little/heavan.:*:.

6 posted 2008-02-15 09:41 PM

hey hey,
Welcome junhao (could you please send me the correct pronunciation of your name)! i'm new to pip too, and let me tell you, i think this is the most amazing sight in the world. there are so many wonderful people here

! a little shout out to my best friend XxForever.BrokenxX, amazing poet, watch fer her work, u'll luv it! any way, wonderful poem (what do u play), i'll be watching fer more of ur work! u have exellent flow, luv it! cya
!Tracey!

if you can touch me, i know i'm still only dying

Lordadon
Junior Member

since 2008-02-14

Posts 18
Singapore

7 posted 2008-02-15 11:38 PM

I play the tuba, heavy for my age(i'm 15 turning 16), esp when it's in a military band. my name's correct pronunciation will be somewhere around (junehow) junhao is a direct translation from how it's chinese characters sounds like. I'm still kinda new to this place, will take some time to get used to it but yea, i've seen aLOT of nice poetry around in here.

crimsonXnails
Member

since 2008-02-10

Posts 108
dark/little/heavan.:*:.

8 posted 2008-02-16 11:35 AM

hey hey,
that's soo cool, i play the tuba too! i'm like, the only girl in the history of our school(and yeah, it is heavy, i'm only turning fourteen in march, i can't imaging marching with it

lol). i've read some of ur other work, it's really good! keep up the good work!
!Tracey@

if you can touch me, i know i'm still only dying

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