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tapper798
Member

since 2003-07-20

Posts 353
My own world

0 posted 2006-10-03 07:42 PM

Ready?

When will it be enough,
do you want me to gravel on the floor?
When life got tough,
I had to tell myself I didn't need you anymore.

So I'm down on my knees now,
I gave you all I had to share,
I thought you'd love me for that,
maybe that'd make you care.

I've walked away time after time,
hoping that somehow you missed me,
you always said what i hoped you would,
but maybe I was too blind to see.

Set.

How many times must I show you all this,
and how many times will I take this pain,
the light was green, I was ready to go,
but maybe I drove down the wrong lane.

I hate how you make me question,
everything I ever felt,
I hate how everytime I'd fall for your lines,
yet with that so much pain was dealt.

I bet you loved seeing me
lying there waiting for the past,
hoping you'd catch up with me,
hoping that maybe this time you'd last.

Go.

Your words and your face captured me,
maybe it was too good to be true,
Maybe I was the only one who felt it all,
but you had me convinced you loved me too.

How can you love someone yet,
just leave them all behind?
How can your feelings be true,
none of this alligned.

But you're so good at walking away
from the girl you claim to love,
so now it's my turn, I'm done with this game,
I'm so tired, i've had enough.

-Erin

AIM-beatufu1tragidy

Tell me what you think about being open, about being honest with yourself.

rhia_5779
Senior Member

since 2006-06-09

Posts 1334
California

1 posted 2006-10-05 05:08 PM

Wow, sorry to steal words, but Beautiful tragedy, very nicely well written, not your very best but still really good!!!

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

2 posted 2006-10-05 09:05 PM

Mmm... Beautiful, very well written on your part. I loved how you kind of put the stanzas in chapters, chapters? Well, how you had them in sections of "ready, set, go", I thought that added some to the poem.

Thanks for sharing, I hope to read more of yours soon

"I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars." - Og Mandino @-->---

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