Teen Poetry #8 |
Behind closed doors. |
fromme2U Member
since 2007-11-09
Posts 257 |
Alone behind closed doors my life transforms, Where I cry a thousand storms. I unmask my happiness, Plus unlock my heart from love’s abstinence. I painfully carry the words to my lips, “I am sorry” each word slowly drips.. I told you my heart is now cold. Because my true feelings I couldn’t unfold. I slowly closed my eyes to see the “you” that I knew Smart, witty and charming this part of you is true. But your deceiving lie shackled my pride with chains I cannot cut through. I remember endless nights I laid by your side, Holding whimpers with my fingers as I cried. I wanted and tried for our relationship to work! But my reflection looked back shamelessly with a smirk. Forgiveness belongs to those who carry a heart of gold, Forgiveness comes slowly this I have been told. But the truth is I carry a heart of the poor, Hoping to knock on the right trustworthy door and hurt never more. You found in another, A little unmeaning passionate smother, While I loved you more than any other. I wish I could forgive your mistake! But the words would only be fake. Disguise and shackles I will maintain, Because you strayed on to a lover's lane So now I must my heart retrain. |
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rebelangelv Senior Member
since 2007-05-28
Posts 538usa |
wow i liked it. so many ppl could relate. this was nice good job :] If i had to choose between you and breathing, id use my last breath to say "I love you" |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
Wow lovely poem.. so beautifully written Krysti |
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Clockwork_Orange Senior Member
since 2007-03-23
Posts 620Space Camp, IN |
i wrote a peom once that i never posted called behind closed doors. mine was very diffrent though. mine is about nikki sixx and his heroin addiction. i had just read The Dirt, all four members of motley crue actually wrote the biography of being super rock stars. it was gross though....some of the things that they did. |
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Ri Member
since 2008-02-01
Posts 67Blackburn, England |
Good choice of lexis here, and it's so easy to relate to, I can really feel the emotion in your words. |
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XxForever.BrokenxX Senior Member
since 2008-01-20
Posts 891Neverland |
....ok- ... I-....wow! i'm speachless! and I only read the first 3 lines so far!!! This is the most amazing poem...or part of a poem I've ever read. Not to offend Hunnie but this is way better than beautifully writen, they have yet to create a word that discrices this poem. ...wow! now if you'll excuse me I have a poem to finish reading!! FoReVeR.BrOkEn [This message has been edited by XxForever.BrokenxX (02-01-2008 08:53 PM).] |
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XxForever.BrokenxX Senior Member
since 2008-01-20
Posts 891Neverland |
yeah i know i could just add on to my other comment but i think u deserve more. I really felt the major emotion of this poem. Which by the way could be a song if it isn't already. The words just flow so perfectly, like an angle her/himself wrote it. That was outstanding, thank you for sharing with us. FoReVeR.BrOkEn |
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RevengeIsMine Senior Member
since 2006-07-08
Posts 820Australia |
Great Poem.. Amazing.. Well Done |
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fromme2U Member
since 2007-11-09
Posts 257 |
THANK YOU! |
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Earl Robertson Senior Member
since 2008-01-21
Posts 753BC, Canada |
I have nothing to say...I'm speechless. Great poem!!!! "Be Strong and Always Remember what made you you." Earl |
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RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed Senior Member
since 2007-06-11
Posts 1062In Love <3 |
Disguise and shackles I will maintain, Because you strayed on to a lover's lane (i LOVED these lines) wow, i usually don't read things in a one stanza form, but you always do so beauituflly. -Kate and in the daylight i miss the nightmare- but deathly fear it in the dark of night |
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ShawtySheFly Member
since 2007-12-19
Posts 71In his Elevator (LOL) |
Good job. . . i lik poetry lik this cuz it really makes a person think about life n the situations it brings. it's fly |
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fromme2U Member
since 2007-11-09
Posts 257 |
THANK YOU AGAIN! |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
fromme2u, I have pulled your poem Depression three times in the last two days. CHECK YOUR EMAIL!!! |
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