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rhia_5779
Senior Member

since 2006-06-09

Posts 1334
California

0 posted 2006-10-03 05:35 PM

Through the flaming wreckage of the ship
a dark outline stands out, tall and rigid.
Knees bend down towards her feet, as the bounce sends her on,
springing off of a destroyed burned sliver of wood.

Leaping into the lightless black hole of destruction
to dive into the realm of shadow, like an arrow hits its target.
Pressure of infinite dark water tears away her torn tatters.
Salt water invades bled out slits, pain that no longer matters.

Piercing deep into that no one has ever been.
Entering a world that takes lives in the blink of an eye.
Depths made up of menacing gleaming teethed fins.
Creatures of the sea, people have never seen.

Hair plastered against her cream skin.
Water runs through spread out fingers that try to reach
for a grip, a supporting stone amidst a raging flood.
A tiny finger brushes against a sliver of glass sunken deep.

Single miniscule drop of dark red blood floats away.
Hand over prick pointed hole, swims onward to the remains,
of the sleekest greatest makes, that once ruled the sea.
Surviving cannon, sharks, called each one to this reef.

Jagged pinnacles of living coral hide among the shallows.
Kings of the sea, thirsty for blood, beautiful in grace until they see you.
Lying on the sandy bottom are Pieces of wood
Waiting to spear the next ship waiting to meet its doom.

Girlish face still, smug nose, thin lipped child,
stowed away on surfaced burning ship, to prove the tales.
Against all odds willing to risk sharks, murky depths that blind.
Exhausted legs kicking, moving through last remains. She can’t fail.

Bubbles of air release from her blue lips.
Watching the harsh fantasies of the stories be true.
Wooden hulls, moored in their last port,
anchors dropped for the last time, bones of sailors journeyed their last ship

Cheeks red with used up fuel.
Gritted teeth keeping her from just breathing in the wet atmosphere.
Letting gallons of aqua water choking off her supply of air.
Moving through the liquid prison, sounding with the beat of oxygen deprived heart.

Swimming through what the sea left of the victimized vessels.
A heavy shadow lurks just below, a frightened glance below
reveals her fate, misty hazel eyes see gleaming white teeth
, Sleek blue blubbered skin, scratchy rough body of a giant.
Crinkled eyelids close for the last time satisfied, in final part.

As a charge begins prepared to take her life.
In the moment before the colossal bite.
Jaw muscles relaxed, letting out the last stream of air.
Shivering in unison for the last time, blood freezes.

Scent that draws predators to the frenzied fight.
Gone, diluted in a watery grave.
Tiny guppy darts out from behind a rock, snap.
Go massive jaws of a shark, distracted.

Tendrils of auburn hair lay glued to her skin.
Thin moist lips open in a closed circle.
Yet another Body of a brave soul drifting up to the sky.
To float on her loosened back on the surface.

Fingers still spread out reaching for what she never felt.
Eyelids closed in price of being able to have a look.
Desert dry burned skin reddened into a thick welt.
On the horizon flames now flickering die out.

A girl-child paid a blood price
For what no one else could live to see.
Saw a part of the sailors’ doom.
Delved deep apart of the oceans depths.

Tempest
Member

since 2006-04-28

Posts 247
dont eat paint chips!!!!

1 posted 2006-10-04 06:17 PM

well i like them long so your lucky in that department, i know ive been gone for a while but my knowledge of literature hasnt been affected at all and i thought i should tell you that from what i have read of your work, this is an outstanding piece because your creativity is amazing. you give so much into your work and i really think it shows here.

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

2 posted 2006-10-04 06:28 PM

"A girl-child paid a blood price
For what no one else could live to see.
Saw a part of the sailors’ doom.
Delved deep apart of the oceans depths"

I loved this ending! It seems to bring the whole poem together and make it appear more complete. It also explains a lot of what's going on in the previous stanzas.

I have to agree with tempest, you do have a wonderful imagination and some knowledge in various subjects that make your poems refreshing and different.

Thanks for sharing this one, I found this to be one of my favorites by you so far

"I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars." - Og Mandino @-->---

nick_lyss
Member

since 2006-08-21

Posts 88

3 posted 2006-10-04 10:32 PM

I liked this part

Fingers still spread out reaching for what she never felt.
Eyelids closed in price of being able to have a look.
Desert dry burned skin reddened into a thick welt.
On the horizon flames now flickering die out.

i think it was really good

rhia_5779
Senior Member

since 2006-06-09

Posts 1334
California

4 posted 2006-10-05 04:54 PM

THank you all for replying. Glad you liked it.

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