Teen Poetry #8 |
Where To Now? |
NCCXC86 Junior Member
since 2006-09-25
Posts 18Michigan |
Out now into the wide world Breathing in the fresh air Feeling my heart beat within my chest Tasting the adrenaline, tasting life I am a feather in the breeze I go where the wind takes me Where to now? Out now into my life My own decisions, my own person I am what I make myself Tomorrow may bring great things I am a feather in the breeze I go where the wind takes me Where to now? Out now of the depths of my heart Feeling the vastness of it all I need a companion, someone to fly with Someone catch me before I fall I am a feather in the breeze I go where the wind takes me Where to now? Out now into my bright future Destiny will blow me away I’m along for the wild ride Let’s see where this wind goes I am a feather in the breeze I go where the wind takes me Where to now? |
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© Copyright 2006 Francis M. Martin - All Rights Reserved | |||
forever*wishing Member
since 2006-05-29
Posts 178where my heart is |
i like this one...although it does get a little repetative...it was very good...nice. = ) |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
"Out now of the depths of my heart Feeling the vastness of it all I need a companion, someone to fly with Someone catch me before I fall I am a feather in the breeze I go where the wind takes me" I like this part a lot! The comparison of yourself to a feather was neat, or so I thought. I must agree though, the repetitiveness does get kind of annoying after awhile, no offence... Thanks for sharing! "I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars." - Og Mandino @-->--- |
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*Alli4000*
since 2004-03-21
Posts 3188The World of Poetry |
"I am a feather in the breeze I go where the wind takes me Where to now?" I loved those lines. While I don't find the repitiveness annoying, I think you could improve the poem by changing the word feather in each stanza, for example, to give the lines a fresh feel each stanza. Did that suggestion even make sense, lol? I'm like half asleep, so don't mind my insanity. Keep sharing! ~Alli~ |
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