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jbal892
Member

since 2007-11-25

Posts 58

0 posted 2007-12-02 01:37 PM

Come Judgment Day

Run to me in your time of need,
Here for you I will always be.
When he hits you I promise he will pay,
No one goes unpunished, for the deeds they commit today.

I’ve seen the marks and I’ve seen the bruises,
Why couldn’t you have told me earlier?
No matter now, it’s all over.
Sooner or later he’ll get what’s comin.

When I knocked on his door he saw the look in my eye.
He knew what I wanted, he knew he could die.
If he thought he would get away with the deeds he committed,
Greatly mistaken this foolish man is, soon he will be submitted;

Submitted to his fate that he was caught,
Caught in the act that the bruises will prove.
First he hit then he beat, as you lay at his feet.
And still he lies to me in the eye.

Says you started every fight,
I know he’s lying and I know you’re right,
This man’s an ass and deserves to die.
It’s not for me to decide and I want to walk away.

I know I need to; I can’t make this man pay.
His soul shall be punished come Judgment Day.
I force myself into his room,
Screaming and kicking as I move closer.

“How could you hit her and beat her so,
Are you really a man that will stoop this low?
You deserve no one to love and to care for.”
With one last word and punch to his side.

I left from his house to never return,
Until that one fateful day that he seeks you out.
And when this final day shall arrive,
I vow to you and to anyone around,

“With all my strength and all my might,
He shall be punished that very night.
No matter the consequence and no matter what you say.
I cannot stand aside and watch him start this every day.”

No one goes unpunished for the deeds they commit today,
When he hits you I promise he will pay.
Here for you I will always be,
Run to me in your time of need.

pen&paper
Senior Member

since 2006-06-06

Posts 513

1 posted 2007-12-02 07:19 PM

“With all my strength and all my might,
He shall be punished that very night.
No matter the consequence and no matter what you say.
I cannot stand aside and watch him start this every day.”

This was def my fave stanza. I loved this!!! It's sad that it seems nearly everyone is going through or knows someone who is going through this isn't it??
Amazing write. Going in my library.

Pen♥

rebelangelv
Senior Member

since 2007-05-28

Posts 538
usa

2 posted 2007-12-02 08:12 PM

the flow was kinda off at some point but over all it was great! i loved the words and message it gave. i can relate and i liked it alot

If i had to choose between you and breathing, id use my last breath to say "I love you"

surf_painter
Member

since 2007-04-10

Posts 434
Canada

3 posted 2007-12-02 09:27 PM

what an amazing write. you put so much into such a great poem and it was just amazing, emotions ran through me and not many poems have done that so very well done and such a sad topic to be writing about, that is brave to do it and i applaud you

sexykitten15
Junior Member

since 2007-07-22

Posts 34

4 posted 2007-12-03 06:32 PM

AMAZING!!!

I LOVE IT AHH im not sure wut to say i cant describe how wonderful this is!

jbal892
Member

since 2007-11-25

Posts 58

5 posted 2007-12-03 06:57 PM

Thank's for all the replies guys. Yea...I haven't written on anything like this before. My sister just got out of a marriage about a year ago that was somewhat like this. I didn't know the details exactly but I imagine it was something along what I wrote in the poem.

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

6 posted 2007-12-04 12:55 PM

Wow this was amazing i loved your choice of words everything.
Krysti

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural

7 posted 2007-12-11 08:56 PM

VERY MUCH ENJOYED

ARCTIC WIND

rebel~angel
Member

since 2006-06-20

Posts 71
Iowa USA

8 posted 2007-12-11 09:40 PM

oh dear...violent! haha...wow. That was sooooo good...I could feel the anger in the poem...

Remember:Tuck your chin, you're going to get hurt, so expect it and be ready. You might as well see it coming.
-Elizabeth Haydon, Requiem for the Sun

Leanne <3
Member

since 2007-08-25

Posts 216
N.S.W, Australia

9 posted 2007-12-12 01:19 AM

man i can relate to this so much it almost brought me to tears to read this. I hope your friend is ok, shes truly lucky to have you there for her. great write.

wolf girl
Member

since 2007-12-03

Posts 150
washington, US

10 posted 2007-12-12 10:26 PM

i really like it. i fought back when this happened to me. it was mom though that was hitting me. it really is a amazing write. :]

Derek
Junior Member

since 2007-10-20

Posts 38
New Hampshire, USA

11 posted 2007-12-15 12:47 PM

very nice

fromme2U
Member

since 2007-11-09

Posts 257

12 posted 2007-12-18 07:04 PM

Wow this gets you all pumped up!lol..nice write.

sonatina425
New Member

since 2007-12-18

Posts 7
Beyond the second star to the right.

13 posted 2007-12-19 12:25 PM

This was a great poem. Your word choice on some stanzas really made it come to life. Wonderful. =)

wisdomofthesword
Member

since 2007-12-17

Posts 224
the last place on earth

14 posted 2007-12-19 04:32 AM

can really relate. this is amazing

something thats stupid but works isn't stupid

jbal892
Member

since 2007-11-25

Posts 58

15 posted 2007-12-19 08:18 AM

wow this poem keeps surfacing up from the bottom of the page lol, thanks for all the comments guys! i really appreciate it

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