Sing to me Moon - pipTalk Forums

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Teen Poetry #8

Sing to me Moon

nevermore93
Member

since 2007-10-24

Posts 73

0 posted 2007-11-02 02:32 AM

Sing to me moon
Call out my name
I still remember
That beautiful day

When you arose
into the dark sky,
you Lit up my world
and ended my fright

The stars proclaim
your beaty and grace
Thine light shines
on the needs of all

Sing again your song
of glory and wonder
put our minds to rest
and our hearts to slumber.

young_blood
Senior Member

since 2003-09-19

Posts 1115
Indianapolis, IN

1 posted 2007-11-02 02:35 AM

this was pretty good. you had a good sense of rhythm throughout the piece, although the rhyming scheme was thrown off in the third stanza. maybe go take a look at that. other than that, well done.

moondogz
Member

since 2007-05-01

Posts 397
Great White North

2 posted 2007-11-02 06:41 AM

that is sooooooooo cool. i love it ...thank you.

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural

3 posted 2007-11-12 10:01 PM

Enjoyed

ARCTIC WIND

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