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Teen Poetry #8
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Teens of Today (new title of What?)
| Teen Poetry #8 |
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Teens of Today (new title of What?) |
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Kira Aso Member
since 2006-09-26
Posts 351Closer to Hell... |
She doesn’t know what to say Mom won’t listen anyway Trying to find an outlet for the pain Something to let her know she’s still sane Her mom she shrieks but won’t hear her out And in the night you can hear them shout Wishing she never said anything at all Wondering why she even answered that guys call What do you do when no one will listen? On your face your tears they glisten What do you say when you don’t understand? It’s not like this is something you planned Teens of today meet the horrors of tomorrow Every day stuck living with the sorrow Mistakes you make mark the age in which you live Support isn’t something our parent’s always give He sits on the steps and hears his dads tantrums Telling him his friends are all low life bums A punch in the face, a kick in the gut Finding himself in the same old rut He has his own plans and wants to see them through But his dad wont seem to get a clue Dad saying he’s wasting his time Is growing up really such a crime? What do you do when every things forbidden? Can’t help but to keep your own feelings hidden What do you do when loved ones hold you back? Feeling your resentment continue to stack Teens of today meet the reality of tomorrow Behind every corner is another blow Making the decision to do good in Gods sight But how can you be certain your parent are right? All around you’ll see us looking for the answers that we seek But every time we give voice to these our parents only freak Open your selfish eyes And maybe what we do wont come as a surprise ~Alright peoples I changed the title (Hope this is better) Thanx to rhia_5779 for letting me know the title was unfitting. I hope you like this one better!~ [This message has been edited by Kira Aso (09-29-2006 11:09 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2006 Kira Aso - All Rights Reserved | |||
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rhia_5779 Senior Member
since 2006-06-09
Posts 1334California |
Wow!!!!!. Other than punctuation, and the title seriously not fitting to it in my oppinion. This was very good. Outlet is not out let but outlet. it was a litte jumpy in some parts,great ideas,and the flow was good, though. Its ok long though. |
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Kira Aso Member
since 2006-09-26
Posts 351Closer to Hell... |
High praise! Thanks for pointing out my mistakes!!! It's kind of hard to see them if you don't have someone to point them out. I hope I can do better next time, thank you! |
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Brittany Junior Member
since 2006-09-26
Posts 32Canada |
I really liked this, it was good. It may have been a little jumpy in parts, but I still really liked it. I think it's a topic a lot of people can connect with. good work! ~Life Ain't Always Beautiful~ |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
I agree with everything the other said. I would like to add that in some spots it appears like there needs to be a word added to make the sentence more complete, if you know what I mean? Thanks for sharing though! There IS a little bit of something that everyone can relate too, or so I think.  "I pray thee, O God, that I |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
I absolutly loved this poem it was amazing hope to read more soon... hunnie* A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war and a time for peace ~Ecclesiastes 3:8~ |
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