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Assassin_of_Verse
Member

since 2007-10-23

Posts 330
that So Cal

0 posted 2007-10-23 03:33 AM

Restless I rise on a moonless night,
and brood beneath the stars so bright.
Seeking answers to sorrows that dwell,
throughout a soul with too much to tell.

Throughout a soul with too much to tell,
seeking answers to sorrows that dwell,
and brood beneath the stars so bright.
Restless I rise, on a moonless night.

The more you know, the more you know you don't know.-Socrates

[This message has been edited by Assassin_of_Verse (10-24-2007 12:28 AM).]

Ringo

Member Elite

since 2003-02-20

Posts 3684
Saluting with misty eyes

1 posted 2007-10-23 09:36 AM

WELCOME TO PASSIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!

What would you attempt to do...if you knew you could not fail?.
www.myspace.com/mindlesspoet

Seeker72
Member

since 2007-02-24

Posts 387
Oregon USA

2 posted 2007-10-23 11:00 AM

Nice.

Very nice.

Welcome to the board.

stargal
Senior Member

since 2006-03-06

Posts 1352
OR USA

3 posted 2007-10-23 08:09 PM

Very nice, very clean lines and a beautiful piece. I enjoyed reading this immensely.

The only quirk I have is the capitalization of each line, to me, it's hard to read it like this because it doesn't show sentence breaks very well. I know, you put commas and periods but I tend to look at the beginning of each line, not that this makes the poem any better or any worse...

Welcome to passions! I look forward to reading more of your work

~Stargal

"The rising morning can't insure that we shall end the day; For death stands ready at the door to snatch our lives away"
@-->---

RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed
Senior Member

since 2007-06-11

Posts 1062
In Love <3

4 posted 2007-10-23 08:21 PM

wow, i've never seen a poem that reflected it's self like that before. it was beautiful and i'm putting it in my library . . . as a passing thought- i wish my first post was as good.

-Kate

"I thought I'd just mention in passing . . . I always wanted a Sparkly of my very own." -Jeremy The Crow

Assassin_of_Verse
Member

since 2007-10-23

Posts 330
that So Cal

5 posted 2007-10-23 09:18 PM

Thanks you for your kind words. I constantly changed this particular poem and it is a great relief to "complete" it.

To Stargal:
Oops! I was copying and pasting from my Word document, and it automatically capitalizes the first word.
Thanks for the heads-up!

The more you know, the more you know you don't know.-Socrates

Assassin_of_Verse
Member

since 2007-10-23

Posts 330
that So Cal

6 posted 2007-10-24 12:35 PM

Kate: I can't fathom what you're talking about! I read your first post and it was well done.

hunnie_girl

Member Elite

since 2006-06-18

Posts 2567
Canada

7 posted 2007-10-24 01:21 AM

wow this was amazing I loved the twist of the style, it was so original and Welcome To Passions. good to have you here.
Krysti

Derek
Junior Member

since 2007-10-20

Posts 38
New Hampshire, USA

8 posted 2007-10-24 07:44 PM

Very nice

RenaissanceRomanceRunsRed
Senior Member

since 2007-06-11

Posts 1062
In Love <3

9 posted 2007-10-24 09:15 PM

why thankyou. i think we should become very good friends.

-Kate

"I thought I'd just mention in passing . . . I always wanted a Sparkly of my very own." -Jeremy The Crow

Alaina
Member

since 2007-06-16

Posts 106

10 posted 2007-10-24 09:22 PM

this was really great. even though it was short, i think there was no need to write any more. it was amazing

I know you'll be a sun in somebody else's sky, but why can't it be mine?
-Eddie Vedder

Assassin_of_Verse
Member

since 2007-10-23

Posts 330
that So Cal

11 posted 2007-10-24 09:38 PM

Thank you, all four of you!
To Kate: Pleasure to be your friend!

To Alaina: I agree that there was no need to keep writing, but when I was writing at the time, I felt that the poem was like a person. Everyone has more then just one thing to say.

-Andrew

nevermore93
Member

since 2007-10-24

Posts 73

12 posted 2007-10-24 10:11 PM

hey, andrew great poem. just so you know, my poem is in the teen section finally. hope you check it out.

nevermore93
Member

since 2007-10-24

Posts 73

13 posted 2007-10-26 12:03 PM

hey andrew, when you get the time, read my poem called "shadow" in this forum.

justanotherstorm
Member

since 2007-10-24

Posts 321

14 posted 2007-10-26 12:07 PM

wow that was kool
nice writing

Assassin_of_Verse
Member

since 2007-10-23

Posts 330
that So Cal

15 posted 2007-10-26 12:26 PM

Domo arigato gozaimasu! ("Thank you very much" in Japanese)

The more you know, the more you know you don't know. -Socrates

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