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Teen Poetry #8
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I shouldn't want you like this
| Teen Poetry #8 |
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I shouldn't want you like this |
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tapper798 Member
since 2003-07-20
Posts 353My own world 
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After all the things you’ve done to me, After all the lies I was too blind to see, This is one place I just shouldn’t be, I shouldn’t want you like this. After all the pain you put me through, I promised myself I wouldn’t want you, So, tell me now, what is there to do When you break your own promises. Every song shouldn’t remind me of one guy, Especially after the countless lies, And the o so painful redundant goodbyes, But they do. And so instead of listening I try to forget, All the times my mind regrets, When all I wanted to see was your silhouette But it always comes back to you. I love you, that's so plain to see, your my favorite part of my memory, I just wish I could always be, the girl who lights up your face. Yeah I wish I could be your only light, and I shouldn't want this, but it feels so right. You've given my heart a civil fight, and from my heart you just can't be erased. -Erin Shorter than my normal ones. Let me know what you think. AIM-beatufu1tragidy Tell me what you think about being open, about being honest with yourself. |
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| © Copyright 2006 Erin - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
This is beautiful Erin! I very much enjoyed the read and I'm pleased I stopped by Teen tonight.  Hugs~Nancy ~Autumn, the year's last, loveliest smile~ |
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pip_man Member
since 2006-07-15
Posts 70Canada |
I have to say even though this was shorter than your norm, this was one of my favorite poems by you. Like I always say, you definitally have talent. This poem had great flow, it came together perfect! Great write! Keep writing. "When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace." |
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hunnie_girl
since 2006-06-18
Posts 2567Canada |
i think this has got to be my favorite poem from you so far... keep up the writing... hunnie* A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war and a time for peace ~Ecclesiastes 3:8~ |
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stargal Senior Member
since 2006-03-06
Posts 1352OR USA |
This is very sad/beautiful! I loved this one and I have to agree that this is one of my all time favorites out the poems, of yours, that I have read. I can't believe I almost missed reading this one... Thanks to hunnie I was able to enjoy your wonderful penning. Thanks for sharing! "I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars." - Og Mandino @-->--- |
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tearsoflove13762 Member
since 2004-09-05
Posts 488Texas.. and yes i have an accent |
this made me cry ... instead of a guy it reminded me of my brother and its not another girl its alchohol... good write im adding this ahhh i always love your posts 1 Timothy 4:12 |
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patience_iago Member
since 2006-08-30
Posts 54 |
I know you dont like people saying this but I just had to say this was great! "There are some days where i believe i might die of an overdose of satisfaction" |
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powerxxx Junior Member
since 2006-09-21
Posts 17 |
i liked this poem vey much , GREAT!!! nice work , well done |
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Renegade Junior Member
since 2006-10-21
Posts 22 |
It was a very good idea to have the three lines rhyme and throw it off with the last  My lines are a bit short and im trying to get them a bit longer and make them much like yours they dont turn out as well though lol :] |
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Aeris Nicole Junior Member
since 2003-08-18
Posts 21 |
this is a really great poem...... |
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anniep8806 New Member
since 2006-11-06
Posts 3Texas, United States |
I really liked this. It reminds me of how my ex makes me feel. |
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themute Member
since 2006-05-08
Posts 469Maryland |
You should read The Prose of Saris in the open poetry forum; there are some similarities in our written predicaments. I am the two-toed wanderer |
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