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poddarku
Senior Member

since 2008-01-15

Posts 589
india

0 posted 2009-02-07 07:21 AM

The Surreal Circus

The manager conjures rainbows,
summons them to sprawl, spread, create
an ethereal canopy
over the audience, now tense;
waiting for the trapeze artists
tired, aged under the lovely
made up faces and glossy dresses.

We fly thus, days in and days out.
The blending colors of screaming
moments at the emotional high
are around us embracing time.
The lean lions with glassy eyes
open the jaws to let us enter
our dutiful heads inside.
© 2009 - All Rights Reserved Kushal Poddar

clever talks delay friendship!

DharkOne
Junior Member

since 2009-01-28

Posts 31

1 posted 2009-02-07 09:32 AM

Bold Imagery, very effectively written.
Nice work, thank you for the read.

Copperbell
Senior Member

since 2003-11-08

Posts 956

2 posted 2009-02-07 09:56 AM

i enjoyed the imagery of this
and beneath that - a glimpse of who they really are

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-25

Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

3 posted 2009-02-07 10:00 AM

Yo Poddarku,

I didn't find this very clear at all. I'd strive for more simplicity, and clear meaning.

Bobby

DharkOne
Junior Member

since 2009-01-28

Posts 31

4 posted 2009-02-07 10:35 AM

Poetry has it's moments when it aspires to be more than....

Skeleton boy
He gonna
Rob you...

Know what I mean ?

OwlSA
Member Rara Avis

since 2005-11-07

Posts 9347
Durban, South Africa

5 posted 2009-02-07 02:37 PM

Kushal, surreal, but so real too. You bring everything you write about to life. How you can enter the minds and lives and thoughts of so many people who so very clearly aren't you - especially as you are so young - amazes me.

I ache for the thin, glassy-eyed lions, longing for the grassy plains of their origin, or their predecessors' origin. Thank you for caring about them and understanding their plight.

Owl

playerfrost
New Member

since 2009-02-07

Posts 2

6 posted 2009-02-07 02:39 PM

i really liked your imagery, it was vivid and brought your poem to life

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California

7 posted 2009-02-07 04:57 PM

Perfect discription of how I feel about the circus, Ku.
Ida

rad802
Member

since 2008-04-19

Posts 279
KY U.S.A.

8 posted 2009-02-07 07:48 PM

The lions often resist the temptation to do what lions do. Don't they?

Rick Delmonico

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

9 posted 2009-02-07 07:51 PM

Your words always have the power to form an indelible vision, that stucks in the mind of the reader.

Great job, dear Ku! It's always a pleasure when you grace us with your presence, Poet!
Not often enough.

Love and hugs.
Margherita

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