Bones Is Desperate - pipTalk Forums

How to Join	Member's Area	Private Library	Search	Sanctuary		Login
Main Forums	Discussion	Tech Talk	Mature Content	Archives	A home without a wall, Our haven without ends, A circle we all call Our Family of Friends!

Open Poetry #44

Bones Is Desperate

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-25

Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

0 posted 2009-01-31 09:31 AM

It’s January 31,
and Bones is out on his corner
shivering.

He’s hungry,
and colder than hell.

He feels like his belly button
is rubbing up against his backbone.

He needs a client bad,
any client,
he doesn’t care
if it’s a client
that has treated him rotten,
and really hurt him
in the past.

He’s just that desperate.

Bobby

Marc-Andre
Senior Member

since 2008-12-07

Posts 501

1 posted 2009-01-31 10:09 AM

Bobby, I've got to say that the two metaphors had me pause a bit...I liked the second one though. I've enjoyed the read. Mark

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-25

Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

2 posted 2009-01-31 11:28 AM

Thanks Mark,

Those are two of my favorites--metaphors all over the place.

I'm pleased that you enjoyed the poem.

Bobby

Marc-Andre
Senior Member

since 2008-12-07

Posts 501

3 posted 2009-01-31 07:31 PM

Well, Bobby, "colder than hell" isn't really my favourite as (a) though Quebec in winter is hell indeed

I tend to picture the place as a rather hot one; and (b) I find it a bit too commonplace.That's just my personal opinion.

However,I found "the belly-button rubbing against the backbone" both vivid and impressive. I would be proud of that one too

Mark

LindsayP
Member Elite

since 2007-07-28

Posts 3410
Australia, Victoria

4 posted 2009-01-31 07:47 PM

Take him down to Florida Bobby, at least

he'll be warm down there. Take care.

Lindsay

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-25

Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

5 posted 2009-01-31 08:13 PM

Thanks Mark,

Bobby

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-25

Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

6 posted 2009-01-31 08:15 PM

Thanks LindsayP,

Both Bones and I have been to Florida. We didn't like it there. It's too hot.

We'll both stay here in our beloved Philadelphia. We're used to the place, and it's home in so many ways.

Bobby

	⇧ top of page ⇧
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.