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Open Poetry #44
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Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind

0 posted 2009-05-07 10:52 PM



Even a white moon can not
conceal a hurting heart

so

I let the light
ride my palms &
blue walls
or from where ever the
stirring began

When I forget to cry
and love lies sleeping
in dreams of gold

just
moving in pieces running through my head
to fall into you
when you go out blue
for the heart

Fear is naming love, being scared to fall through
life learning nothing

         could it be that complex
or is it that simple?


Laying amidst silence
on  edges           of reality

I touch the water   crying
        wondering, if the skies open
would I recognize    myself?
will I  again   notice    that sometimes beauty
is the rain on my shoulders?


  {and I cried for you
I dared to plead}

but there is no rain,
   no dawn

The bending of  flowers
can not be stopped


and I await  Aprils rain
to soak the green
and live in unity


Perhaps I am too abstract
for your document of
understanding, maybe you prefer
a bigger gift
touching your hands

Stillness settles
watching butterflies
tap glass

I listened from the room,
you were the last word,
ecstasy breaking free
between daylight & midnight

empty


~~**~~
I never let one moment define me,
I define myself by all moments and how they teach and touch me......02  

© Copyright 2009 Lauren~ - All Rights Reserved
secondhanddreampoet
Member Ascendant
since 2006-11-07
Posts 6394
a 'Universalist' !
1 posted 2009-05-07 11:08 PM


powerfully fine ‘write’!

“Fear is naming love, being scared to fall through
life learning nothing” …

now that is truly a grand line!

as is:

“sometimes beauty
is the rain on my shoulders”

     Spring Evening Rain

There is more truth,
beauty, and wisdom
in a spring evening rain
than all the pithy poems
and weighty tomes
  of man.

AND:

“Stillness settles
watching butterflies
tap glass” …

absolutely wonderful image!

MUCH (long-sustained) applause for this 'penning' !!

Osprey
Member
since 2009-04-12
Posts 249

2 posted 2009-05-08 04:34 AM


So many class lines, the whole poem is worthy of quote.
Melancholy wrapped in beauty.

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
3 posted 2009-05-08 01:25 PM


This has the refined Lauren-touch definitely.

Really beautiful, to read more than once.

Love,
Margherita

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
4 posted 2009-05-08 02:31 PM


So very very beautiful..
written with such a delicate touch.

Hugs~Nancy

BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside
5 posted 2009-05-08 11:35 PM


You are such a gifted poetess and your poetry is ever so lovely
on the eyes and in the heart of your readers.

hugs you~

Robert E. Jordan
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
6 posted 2009-05-09 03:22 PM


Yo dear Greeneyes,

In the line:

"and I await Aprils rain"

perhaps you mean the possessive of April, April's--unless of course you're talking about more than one April.

Love Bobby

steavenr
Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058

7 posted 2009-05-09 10:26 PM


"Fear is naming love, being scared to fall through
life learning nothing"

...this is, as others have noted, is a very special line (as far as the April rains go, though, as I sit watching the flood waters rise, I've had enough)

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
8 posted 2009-05-09 10:40 PM


Fine writing...James
Greeneyes
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In Your Poetic Mind
9 posted 2009-05-09 10:48 PM


robert yo...i write how i write...i meant it exactly as I wrote it   ....

~~**~~
I never let one moment define me,
I define myself by all moments and how they teach and touch me......02  

Greeneyes
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In Your Poetic Mind
10 posted 2009-05-09 10:51 PM


hey all, thank you so much for taking time to read....I appreciate you all very much! luv and hugsss.....

~~**~~
I never let one moment define me,
I define myself by all moments and how they teach and touch me......02  

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
11 posted 2009-05-10 03:18 PM



Well, just as the other "poets" have told you already, this is powerful, beautiful and holds the elegance we have to come to expect from you.  So I will echo those comments as well if I may.  I did find lines that just shouted out to me ...
********************************************

Fear is naming love, being scared to fall through
life learning nothing
*******************************************


Poetry at it's finest level
*******************************************

could it be that complex
or is it that simple?
********************************************

an honest question with perhaps a different answer for each of us
********************************************

Stillness settles
watching butterflies
tap glass
**************************************************

freedom encased in lonliness in order to brighten the lives of others with only a soft plea for being noticed.   ( at least that is the way I take it )

Still a fan of yours after all these years and shall remain so.  A beautiful rendering you gave us.

vandana
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Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
12 posted 2009-05-10 06:04 PM


nice read
suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
13 posted 2009-05-11 03:42 PM


You had me from "hello"... or in this case... from those first two lines. *S* Sheer excellence!
Alison
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Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
14 posted 2009-05-12 12:35 PM


I appreciate the power of your poetry - I liked too many lines to single one out.  One thing that I really like is how you break your lines and phrases.  I always am drawn to your poems.

Alison

Greeneyes
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In Your Poetic Mind
15 posted 2009-05-12 01:04 PM


hey...thank you all for the replies...i appreciate you stopping by!


~~**~~
I never let one moment define me,
I define myself by all moments and how they teach and touch me......02  

ctowen
Member Elite
since 2001-10-18
Posts 2286
Green Mountains of VT
16 posted 2009-05-15 06:14 PM


April's always did have a showering effect!

  ... keep a smile!  : )

Kaoru
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since 2003-06-07
Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow
17 posted 2009-05-15 08:16 PM


"I touch the water   crying
        wondering, if the skies open
would I recognize    myself?
will I  again   notice    that sometimes beauty
is the rain on my shoulders?"

Your writing really does have it's own environment, it's own weather. This is lovely and loved.

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