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Open Poetry #44
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Stampt
| Open Poetry #44 |
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Stampt |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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A kissing: succulent am I lip pulsating quivertip A sip, Bachnallian survived grapes in seeds' experiment whispering "old souls survive" in needs of dove's experiment old stoics and slow silences with just-the-right pull of tension dancing on Broadway: aware netting cautionary cues fluttering like butterflies never landing never you cliche'd cautiously mundane stampt in everyplace but "true". Both doves in considering high sky dives of rambolling praying a genetic truth might spare them from the hard ground soup of birds who squalor darnng deed because the best place, left, to bleed written in the cold conrete puddles in the street, that we walk over, as we laugh loudly damning going home...are reeds. Painted red anomalies A moment of "look-at-me-now" just might be the scenic route off the freeway, homeward bound following the river's loud urgency for oceans found at the end of trails, I failed-- to make us live these moments once, and twice and thrice-mast at full sail.... I wish you'd kiss me now and say the words I needed hard to hear as the rabbits scream they spray their death in certain canyon fear of owning poodle dogs. |
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| © Copyright 2009 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
quote: As always,dear Karen, you offer a deeply captivating read that holds profound emotions and awesome conjectures. Love, Margherita |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
"A moment of "look-at-me-now" just might be the scenic route off the freeway, homeward bound" The meaning behind that was like a smack in the face then an "oh" This is one of those pieces I have to read over and over...a good thing.  love you to the moon and back again."too bad ignorance isn't painful" ~Unknown~ [This message has been edited by Susan Caldwell (01-12-2009 10:05 AM).] |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
WHAT is this stunningly good poem doing down here with two replies???? Being a challenge, with some depth to it, that's what. I'm as lazy as the next guy, but most times, I like that in a poem. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
just... wow... I'll have to come back to this later... when it's not 3:30am and after I've had some sleep... *smile* love you, my sis...  |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
Your poem fondles the senses in 3D soundsuround and all that electric pulsation leaving the flatline of this white page xoxoxo |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
serenity blaze - I was thinking the same about the replies. Now is there one more. BC |
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steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
this is an amazing conflagration of rides...too much fire for one read...going back to put my mind on hyper-drive...a challenging write...well done |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
I always enjoy your wonderful thoughts! It's always a treat Charmed one  ARCTIC WIND |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
I always enjoy your wonderful thoughts! It's always a treat Charmed one ARCTIC WIND |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Yo dear Serenity blaze, With a little work this could be made into a very compelling piece of poetry. I’d try and get away from so much white space. Love Bobby |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Well, I disagree with Bobby on whether or not this poem can be worked on more...I found it very compelling as each line stands alone... strong stuff, Sis! |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I agree with Bobby. I am taking up too much space these days.  Thanks for the advice, lovie. And I was gonna explain the poodle dogs, but I think I'll let that be whatever ya'll want it to be. Hugs and love to all. Thank you. |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Ladies, Ladies, Please don’t fight over me. I get enough of that here in the hood. Love Bobby |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Karen, so many times I read you and it's like being drenched by a waterfall that leaves me breaathless, without words. Like now. |
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