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Open Poetry #44
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I Am... me (rp)
| Open Poetry #44 |
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I Am... me (rp) |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines 
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I Am It is easy for me in moments when I am settled into myself to recall every little touch, every word from lips shared, every interpretation analyzed, taking me as far back as my later teenage years. I can reverse the films in my head just to enjoy the love I once held, or turn it into sadness of my moods by winding down to the people I have lost from my life. Each night is dark for me now, too dark for even shadows to follow me, those that once interrupted by haunting me into believing in more. Selfish me, always wanting more, like a child, throwing tantrums, all but the stamping of feet. I dislike aging only because there is so much of life left to share, and each day goes by too slow while in it yet tomorrow comes much too soon. There is always a poem in me, at times one too many, that interrupts the flow of the one before. Today is such a day as I take the time to look around me, the beauty just in existing being clouded by my visions tears. Today I don't wish to rhyme, I don't wish to reason. The answers are never forthcoming unless I look in the mirror and if need be put on those reading glasses to take a closer look. Those lines of worry have grown deeper, and those bite marks on my bottom lip are from the tensions I build inside myself trying to understand "the many moods of me". I am invisible to most, and like it that way for now. I listen, I read, I learn, yet still don't understand what it takes to be fulfilled anymore. All the cliches mean nothing to me and I shrug them off when heard. I weave my days into nights waiting to knot them off leaving me to start new. I ask myself, "How are you today" at the start of each morning and today I had no answer except..."I Am" M |
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Magnus
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135South Carolina, USA |
Bravo!! Amazing what we can find of ourselves if we just look.... |
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qtangel812 Junior Member
since 2009-05-02
Posts 10 |
wow that was amazing its soo true i loved it :] |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
Now here's a woman who truly understands and knows herself! ~ An excellent expression of one's self! ~ and what a writer!!! Giving you a big, warm hug, Linda  |
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latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
This is excellent as I read it.But I tend to feel it was written by a much older person.Sounds like many of my friends who find no use in life if they are not fullfiling a need. But you dear one are much too young to be having these feelings. And I know you have had them for a very long time. Try to look ahead with a more positive attitude. Smiles and an open heart do so much for one and you do have a lovely smile. latearrival. |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
late, I am older than you think and besides the turmoil and changes in my own immediate life, I have had illness and death and deaths and more illnesses leading to deaths to "deal" with. I actually don't know where the last 10 years of my life have gone other than posting poems and trying to survive aging. Thank you for your words  they are appreciated. And I do have an open heart and share it with those children I teach, much younger than I.Thank you Barry, if I pretended to always be happy I would be lying to myself. qtangel812, yes we are made up of so many moods and expressing them is healthier than holding them in.  Linda, thank you for the hug and understanding, since many of us on here not only are similar in age but in life's experiences. You are appreciated. btw, this was written in 2003 and that was before many other sad events in my life occurred. hugs M |
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Klassy Lassy Member Elite
since 2005-06-28
Posts 2187Oregon |
I enjoyed learning about you, and philosphy of your days is real and touchable and warm. Being in touch with what you want is important, and I've been surprised at how often what I thought I wanted was not the prize at all...but learning what I had that mattered was. I like the idea of "knotting off" before a new day begins, keeping things managable, and making a start less unencumbered by the day before. Yes, I see myself in so me of your insights. Thank you for sharing.  |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Maureen You are so amazing sometimes that it just floors me! I don't know what else to say. Eric |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
KL~~"keeping things managable, and making a start less unencumbered by the day before." Exactly! Eric, even though I really don't know you, I think I love you~~~ thank you M |
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Oklahoma Rose Senior Member
since 2008-02-28
Posts 1586Oklahoma USA |
It's good to know oneself, as well as you seem to know. I can relate to most all of this. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I am invisible to most, and like it that way for now. I listen, I read, I learn, yet still don't understand what it takes to be fulfilled anymore. This touched me deeply... I can only say "you are" a remarkable lady. *S* |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
"I dislike aging only because there is so much of life left to share, and each day goes by too slow while in it yet tomorrow comes much too soon." Sums up this aging bit perfectly... j. |
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