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Michael2014
New Member

since 2009-04-30

Posts 2
Canaada

0 posted 2009-04-30 04:27 PM

I'm new to this really.
please all comments and criticism is appreciated!

I felt like clothes in a washer or dryer.
All mixed up, spun and confused.
Forgotten like I was just old news.
-----------------------------------------------------------
I'm now like a coconut, thats why you never see me bruise.
I break.
My bones are stronger then before,
I've never been crushed this hard,
Nobody ever pointed out the stars. To me.
I wish, wish, wish I could go out to sea with you.
not to be forgotten by you, but with you, you,
you.

SeraphimBroken
Member

since 2009-03-09

Posts 74
USA

1 posted 2009-04-30 04:55 PM

"I'm now like a coconut, thats why you never see me bruise.
I break."

These words speak to me. Great first post!

2islander2
Member Ascendant

since 2008-03-12

Posts 6825
by the sea

2 posted 2009-05-01 01:48 AM

enjoyable read...some surprises like coconut...thank you for sharing.

yann

[This message has been edited by 2islander2 (05-01-2009 05:00 AM).]

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

3 posted 2009-05-01 06:33 PM

Enjoyed...James

Alison

Member Rara Avis

since 2008-01-27

Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!

4 posted 2009-05-03 11:41 PM

Michael,

I have felt like clothes in a washer and dryer before too. It helps when I write - I get some kind of energy from it, I guess. I like your efforts and look forward to reading more of your poetry.

Welcome to PiP.

Alison

Bill Charles
Member Patricius

since 2000-07-11

Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now

5 posted 2009-05-03 11:58 PM

Michael2014 - nice first posting, looking forward to seeing more...

BC

qtangel812
Junior Member

since 2009-05-02

Posts 10

6 posted 2009-05-04 09:37 PM

its really good
i can really relate to this poem
loved it :]

KeyLimeSorbet
Member

since 2008-03-05

Posts 74
Colorado

7 posted 2009-05-06 03:57 PM

I enjoyed reading this very much, it's nice work :-)

WTBAKELAR

Senior Member

since 2008-09-09

Posts 1089
Utah, USA

8 posted 2009-05-06 04:06 PM

I felt like clothes in a washer or dryer.
All mixed up, spun and confused.

I felt like that.  then I realized My blood sugar was low.  I'm alright now, (That's up for debate)

Really,  Welcome to PIP.
Be very careful,  It's addictive.

Tracey.

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