navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #44 » Before and after
Open Poetry #44
Post A Reply Post New Topic Before and after Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Michael2014
New Member
since 2009-04-30
Posts 2
Canaada

0 posted 2009-04-30 04:27 PM


I'm new to this really.
please all comments and criticism is appreciated!



I felt like clothes in a washer or dryer.
All mixed up, spun and confused.
Forgotten like I was just old news.
-----------------------------------------------------------
I'm now like a coconut, thats why you never see me bruise.
I break.
My bones are stronger then before,
I've never been crushed this hard,
Nobody ever pointed out the stars. To me.
I wish, wish, wish I could go out to sea with you.
not to be forgotten by you, but with you, you,
you.

© Copyright 2009 Michael Groat - All Rights Reserved
SeraphimBroken
Member
since 2009-03-09
Posts 74
USA
1 posted 2009-04-30 04:55 PM


"I'm now like a coconut, thats why you never see me bruise.
I break."

These words speak to me. Great first post!  


2islander2
Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825
by the sea
2 posted 2009-05-01 01:48 AM


enjoyable read...some surprises like coconut...thank you for sharing.

yann

[This message has been edited by 2islander2 (05-01-2009 05:00 AM).]

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
3 posted 2009-05-01 06:33 PM


Enjoyed...James
Alison
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318
Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy!
4 posted 2009-05-03 11:41 PM


Michael,

I have felt like clothes in a washer and dryer before too.  It helps when I write - I get some kind of energy from it, I guess.  I like your efforts and look forward to reading more of your poetry.  

Welcome to PiP.

Alison

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
5 posted 2009-05-03 11:58 PM


Michael2014 - nice first posting, looking forward to seeing more...

BC

qtangel812
Junior Member
since 2009-05-02
Posts 10

6 posted 2009-05-04 09:37 PM


its really good
i can really relate to this poem
loved it :]

KeyLimeSorbet
Member
since 2008-03-05
Posts 74
Colorado
7 posted 2009-05-06 03:57 PM


I enjoyed reading this very much, it's nice work :-)
WTBAKELAR
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2008-09-09
Posts 1089
Utah, USA
8 posted 2009-05-06 04:06 PM


I felt like clothes in a washer or dryer.
All mixed up, spun and confused.

I felt like that.  then I realized My blood sugar was low.  I'm alright now, (That's up for debate)

Really,  Welcome to PIP.
Be very careful,  It's addictive.

Tracey.

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #44 » Before and after

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary