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Open Poetry #44
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another small death (at the bar)
| Open Poetry #44 |
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another small death (at the bar) |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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"He died, you know," he said to me. I replied to him: "I know." He looked at me like I did not "get it" as his eyes went lost as if he'd grown quite used to that... I "got it" then--I understood. I hugged his bones as he went "shook" weeping while I cried, he died another small death as he tried to say how much he'd meant to him; he haunted himself in my arms as the tender called "last call" he said, "I guess I'll go." |
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| © Copyright 2009 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
WTBAKELAR
since 2008-09-09
Posts 1089Utah, USA |
Interesting little capture of a moment in time. Tracey. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
We never really know how much sadness another person is packing around inside of them... until we let ourselves see past the obvious. You see... on so many levels. *S* Excellent write!! |
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Chalmette Guy Senior Member
since 2009-03-11
Posts 1257Louisiana |
Wow Karen.... Yeah, now I want to go belly up to a bar. I think I might. It's 5 o'clock somewhere. |
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steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
"I hugged his bones as he went "shook"" ...it is lines like this one that still have me sitting here with mouth wide open and asking myself if I 'get it' phewww....nice write... |
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1slick_lady Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088standing on a shadow's lace |
i think to myself at times when i read you just how lucky i am to do it and to know you amazing |
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Rex Allen McCoy Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863Sippin a Timmy's in London |
If there were some one close, to always ... "get it", then there would be a lot less poetry written  enjoyed |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Thanks everybody (and mucho kisses for Rex Allen, Rex Allen!  It's GREAT to see you again, lovie!)I appreciate, as always, that you all take the time to read and comment. And once upon a time, it was me that was a shivering shell-shocked being that was beyond recognition...so it was kind of a shock to see an old friend in that same place. May he heal more speedily than I... |
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critical mass Member
since 2009-03-25
Posts 275Michigan |
this is a really slick little poem. I like the way you twist words |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Very nice...James |
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Dark Stranger Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631West Coast |
karen..I'd start drinkin again if you would make me shook with a hug..enjoyed it lady!! (yep, been on the wagon most of the morning now..since 2am..but 6am is coming pretty soon) |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
Oh my goodness. I've read it through three times and each time it gets better and stronger. You got me with this one. Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
lol@DS...c'mere you. The thing about that bar is? Nobody really likes it there--but it's the last bastion for our generation. (Daiquiri shops don't count as bars for us.) There's some talk amongst a few folk about opening a place of our own. I dunno. I think it's a bad idea. But all they'd want me to do is be there--and that just might be a job I can handle.  I'm FANTASTIC at the meet and greet hostess stuff. *laughing* And always, thanks for reading and my love to all. |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
This is really powerful. We never know what burdens others are carrying unless we're truly willing to listen and understand. |
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LindsayP Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410Australia, Victoria |
A rather touching placement of words Karen a thought provoker, well done. Lindsay |
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