Open Poetry #44 |
Two Long Days |
Dog Junior Member
since 2009-04-09
Posts 48England |
My first post on passions, thought i would start with a light one to test the water..... Two Long Days For me, a gift from God Such things i'd never known Love, passed down from God A seed that had been sown Nothing had prepared me for The change about to come Nothing in life prepared me for The coming of my son My little boy, my perfect boy Heaven forged a gift for me For life, mine has just begun It was written that we would meet Though without him, most days i live Only physically though you understand But the time that im allowed to give He barely leaves my hands Our together time, my favourite time Me and him just on our own We play-fight, tickle, sing and rhyme Until the time that he must go Such pain that burns inside I despise it when he leaves I try not to but i cry everytime Though my tears are never seen I'll explain to him my pain someday And how i miss him so How much i love our together time Though there is two long days to go So for you son, a gift from God The sort you've always known Love, passed down from God A Dad with which to grow |
||
© Copyright 2009 Jey - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Jey, this is very sweet, and makes me smile to see |
||
Chalmette Guy Senior Member
since 2009-03-11
Posts 1257Louisiana |
This touched me as a father myself. Sweet indeed, as SEA said. |
||
Dog Junior Member
since 2009-04-09
Posts 48England |
Thank you Sea, it was intended to be nothing but sweet, though i have found poetry has a way of pulling feelings out of you and it headed down a slightly darker path as it progressed. Thanks Chalmette Guy, i find him an easy target to write about and have to kerb myself sometimes, as its too easy if ya know what i mean, in the sense that i dont have to delve to deep to find feelings for him etc. |
||
critical mass Member
since 2009-03-25
Posts 275Michigan |
Yep You never really know what love is until you have a child. nice write |
||
Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Yo Dog, I liked the thought expressed in your poem. At 72 going on 100, I feel that way about all five of my grandchildren. Bobby |
||
LindsayP Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410Australia, Victoria |
First of all my friend I welcome you to PIP You will meet so many wonderful people here who all share a love of poetry. I'm sure that we will all be able to help ease your pain when you have to give up your little boy. It was a sad poem but you wrote it well. It is as Critical Mass said, you don't really know what love is until you have a child of your own. Take care. Lindsay |
||
Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Dog - nothing can compare to having a son, or daughter. Painful write, but compelling... BC |
||
Dog Junior Member
since 2009-04-09
Posts 48England |
critical mass - thank you, yeh it was a definite unknown feeling, powerful isnt it. bobby - thanks, oh no so your saying the im stuck with such feelings that will only get stronger as the family extends ? wow thats an awful lot of love for one man to cope with lol lindsay - hi and thank you, well i feel right at home already, somebody mentioned to me yesterday this being a place of kindred spirits.....yup the sadness in it was never meant to be there, it was meant to be lighthearted, even fun, im still learning but i guess a poem is similar in someways to a story, maybe therefore the story of that poem had to be told regardless of my original plan for it ? agreed though it is a unique feeling, different even to your feelings for your own parents. Bill - thank you kindly. |
||
steavenr Member Elite
since 2003-11-17
Posts 4058 |
first, welcome to PiP, and what a nice write...don't worry about the emotion...Dadhood will do that to you...cherish and appreciate it...the 'other' days will come...live the day completely and continue to love that boy...very nicely done |
||
suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
The change in mood is an honest expression... and just emphasizes the love. *S* Well done... and Welcome to Passions! *S* |
||
⇧ top of page ⇧ | ||
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |