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Open Poetry #44

Alone and dying.

PrestonThePoet
Member

since 2007-11-07

Posts 87

0 posted 2009-04-06 11:02 PM

Remembering the dark pasts within me,
But for some reason wanting to re-live them.
My life filled with arrays of light,
Urging to be submerged in absence.
Pushing me further and further away,
Making it hard to keep my eyes open.
Pain stakes through me.
And as it tingles, there’s a slight sense of satisfaction.
All from that one night,
That one time.
I had lived on the edge.
I’d been so far from anyone or anything.
I could’ve been lost within myself.
Wandering in a sea of confusion,
Smothered by flashes of color,
But now my hand reaches towards you.
As you drift further away from me.
A wry smile wipes across your chin.
While a tear down mine,
I’ve been silenced with mistakes.
Keeping all feelings I’d longed to share.
From the moment we’d met.
Till this lonely departure;
My neck pushes to the side.
Resting my head into a puddle;
Leaving me lying in that alley.
You couldn’t even tell I was crying.

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

1 posted 2009-04-06 11:26 PM

Very interesting.
Lots of intense thoughts and images portrayed in this piece.
Enjoyable read.

Eric

Boshii2
Member

since 2009-02-01

Posts 146

2 posted 2009-04-09 04:23 AM

i loved your work ..silenced with mistakes.. and your ending and much more
kind regards Boshii2

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis

since 2002-12-27

Posts 8348
Florida

3 posted 2009-04-09 09:34 AM

I really liked this. And this one particular sentence:

"I’ve been silenced with mistakes."

punched me in the gut with envy...oh, to have written that...

"too bad ignorance isn't painful"
~Unknown~

PrestonThePoet
Member

since 2007-11-07

Posts 87

4 posted 2009-04-14 11:09 PM

thanks all.

Such nice things to say.
Makes me happy inside.

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