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Open Poetry #44
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dance floored
| Open Poetry #44 |
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dance floored |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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He called my lips "delicious" and never knew my name. He took the twinings of my hair down and moaned into my "mane". she hurt me and he kissed me hard but I felt not one damned thing: no hunger pounding native drums in the tingle twizzled sing she hurt me and I was not her. He asked if I knew everything. I came here to forget as I drank too much of drink... |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
wow.... this packs in SO much emotion...  |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I'm teetertottering between the lines "and I was not her" and "I came here to forget"... wondering which (or if both) will be my sardonic toast as my hand raises drink tonight... Definitely floored, here... with unrestrained admiration (and some serious word envy *G*) |
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WTBAKELAR
since 2008-09-09
Posts 1089Utah, USA |
That's scary good. Wait, I need to go read that again, Wow, Thats good. WT. |
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1slick_lady Member Ascendant
since 2000-12-22
Posts 6088standing on a shadow's lace |
"and I was not her. He asked if I knew everything." this is just a drive by post i will be back later but... this just aches and of course you knew everything we always do before we are told |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
healers get hurt. but you know that. and I won't go into how close this hit me today. Well done lovie.  love you insanely."too bad ignorance isn't painful" |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
To all m'ladies, and the gentleman WT who is keeping excellent company with them, I thank you. And Ruth? Hmm...I think there's a reason there's a teeter totter there. Nod. The poet stumbled there. As always, I'm open for critique/advice. thank you all for your time, and if you have any ideas on how to make this work for me, I'd appreciate it. Me and brevity...heh. sigh I dunno.  |
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Chalmette Guy Senior Member
since 2009-03-11
Posts 1257Louisiana |
Very deep poem K. Wow. There is so much going on here for so brief a poem. Brilliance. |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
'Twasn't a poet stumble, m'dear, not at all... I don't think you know how to do those... or if you do, you maintain such grace I never see the glitch. *S* Those lines just both "got" me... fairly powerfully... in different ways. *S* |
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Artic Wind Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080Realm of Supernatural |
Enjoyed this emotional write ~ in the lines and between! most on the lines  ARCTIC WIND |
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