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Open Poetry #44
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The Cottage on the Rise
| Open Poetry #44 |
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The Cottage on the Rise |
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LindsayP Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410Australia, Victoria 
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The Cottage on the Rise Neglected, unkempt and decaying with age, It stands on a rise all alone, It’s gone past the time of a livable stage In an area that’s bushfire prone. The roof is rusted and sagging in spots, The passing of time takes it’s toll, The timber where damp; slowly it rosts And the overall picture is droll. Once it was a place of pride and of joy, For the family that owned it were proud, As were the men in the boss’s employ, The result of neglect was never allowed. For husband and wife a struggle it had been To create a home in this wild virgin land, At the start so many problems unseen But they had the will that success would demand. Great oaks and peppercorns majestic in age Reflect garden remnants that are easy to tell, And there to be seen as time turns the page Is the dome of an old water well. An overgrown pathway runs down to the creek Where blackberries and thistles abound, Where once children happily played hide- and- seek, Now few trinkets from the past can be found. Time marches on with each passing year, The family now long left the scene, Makes one wonder just what happened hear And in the past what once might have been. Lindsay |
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| © Copyright 2009 Lindsay P Wilson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Yo LindsayP, I rather like this. I like the way you have substituted "hear" for "here" in the line: "Makes one wonder just what happened hear" It kind of makes it match up with "year". Bobby |
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Alison 
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Lindsay, Sometimes pictures say it all:  This is the house that I grew up in. Thank you for your poem. I want to post it on my house. Love, Alison |
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Rick Member Elite
since 2001-06-21
Posts 2903Victoria, Australia |
Hi Lindsay, I enjoyed this my friend, one of your best for a while, I thought it might be about a bushfire for a second. Have a great week Lindsay, take care. Rick |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Love it!  Way close to the story line in my novel...but it cannot be expressed enough, keeping history alive! Well done, m'friend! |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Lindsay - seems at one time it was quite a nice place, somewhere I wouldn't mind living... BC |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
There has been many a time that similar thoughts have gone through my mind whenever I have come across an old, abandoned house ~ or one in a sorry, neglected state ~ or when I stumble upon the foundation of a house that had once been. LP, you have done a masterful job with this and I would like to save it.  Love to you, Aussie Man! Linda |
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2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
Hi lindsay, always a pleasure to read your stories, this one is so beautifully expressed, I love the description and the cottage with its emotions. great work. yann |
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LindsayP Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410Australia, Victoria |
Thanks Bobby for dropping in and thanks to for picking up my mistake, take care. Alison my dear, your house is similiar to the one that I was writing about. Thank you. Rick, my very good friend Thank you for your kind words, see you on Sunday. Dear Sunshine, I didn't know you were an auther, congratulations, I hope it becomes a best seller and thanks for your response. Bill, thank you my friend but I'm sorry to dissappoint you, but it was all in my imagination, although I have seen many direlect old houses that filled the bill. Dear Linda, I can see you have certainly got the picture and I thank you so much for your kind response. love you too. Yann,it is always appreciated when I see your response my friend and I'm so pleased with your reply. thank you. God bless you all. Lindsay |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Your words and Alison's picture reminded me of something I posted a few years ago /main/forumdisplay.cgi?action=displayarchive&number=80&topic=002247 It's almost impossible to see the old places and not wonder... or ache when the wonder's replaced by knowing. *S* I'll be spending this weekend trying to give our old place a few more years to stand. *S* Excellent write, my friend!! |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Dear Lindsay, you have written a very captivating piece of poetry here. The passing of time is so well rendered. Houses indeed seem to fall apart very quickly when nobody animates them and cares. Love, Margherita |
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LindsayP Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410Australia, Victoria |
Ruth and Margherita thank you dear friends for your generous comments, they are always so much appreciated. love to you both. Lindsay |
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