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Open Poetry #44
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Be Prepared for The Answer
| Open Poetry #44 |
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Be Prepared for The Answer |
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LindsayP Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410Australia, Victoria 
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Be Prepared For The Answer In a Southern small town in the U.S. one day, The prosecutor called the first witness to the stand, A grandmotherly figure, she had witnessed a fray, He then approached her with this simple demand. ‘Mrs. Jones, do you know me, there’s no need to be coy? Now, to tell the truth you must surely feel free,’ ‘I certainly do,’she answered, ‘since you were a boy And I must say you’ve been a disappointment to me.’ ‘You lie and you cheat and manipulate folk And you talk about them all behind their back, You two time your wife and are grog-guzzling soak, And if it was left up to me, I’d give you the sack.’ ‘You really think you are a big shot you know, Certainly without brains and you have no integrity, You’ll never amount to anything even given a go, And a two-bit paper pusher forever you’ll be.’ ‘Yes, I certainly know you,’ she said with distaste? And stunned the lawyer with her answer so grim, Humiliated, he pointed to the defence Attorney with haste And said, ‘Mrs. Jones, tell me if you really know him.’ Again she replied, ‘yes, that I most certainly do, I’ve known Mr. Bradley since he was a lad, He’s lazy and bigoted and I think worse than you And his habits are definitely all bad.’ ‘He can’t build a relationship with anyone I know And his law practice is the worst in the state, He’s cheated on his wife with three different pros’ And then went and left her all alone to her fate.’ The attorney shuddered at these words from this wench, But then the judge called for silence in court, Then beckoning both prosecutors up to the bench, His grim message with much venom was fraught. In no more than a whisper he gave this advice, ‘ Don’t you dare ask her if she should know me, If one of you b + + tards that question should ask, I’ll jail you for contempt and will not set you free.’ Lindsay |
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| © Copyright 2009 Lindsay P Wilson - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
 excellent |
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WTBAKELAR
since 2008-09-09
Posts 1089Utah, USA |
Some times you need to be very carefull what you ask, and to whom you ask it. So much for the term, "The truth will set you free" Again, a wonderfull write. Where do you come up with this stuff? Happy times, Tracey |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
You certainly always make this look so easy, and I know it is not! Great story. |
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LindsayP Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410Australia, Victoria |
To my much appreciated good friends Sue, WT and Sharon, thank you all so much for your always kind response. It helps make my day, a big hug to you all. Lindsay |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
I think that this must be the very first time that I have anticipated the punch line and read rapidly to the conclusion to see whether or not if I was correct in my ass-umption ~ which I was! There's a first time for everything! I do so enjoy your haha writes! I sure as heck am thankful that I wasn't one of the lawyers in that courtroom! My 'angelic' reputation would be forever tarnished! ~ as well as my 'halo'! lol Loveya, Aussie Man! Linda |
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Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Yo LindsayP, I like this a lot. In the line: "You two time your wife and are grog-guzzling soak," I'd advise aan "a" before grog. Bobby |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Lindsay dear, you really write some very cute stuff! A smile is always welcome! Love, Margherita  |
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LindsayP Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410Australia, Victoria |
Linda, thank you my dear but I just couldn't imagine your reputation being tarnished in any way whatever no matter who you might impersonate. Love you. Thanks Bobby for dropping in and thank you to for noticeing the missing 'a', I should have read it through again. Take care. Dear Margherita, if I can put a smile on your face, then that puts a smile on my face as well. I'm glad you liked it. love you. |
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WindWalker Senior Member
since 2001-10-12
Posts 1218 |
This is really excellent! |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
He he Lindsay Some people just can't take that kind of honesty.... Good one! Eric |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
your poems are always so good I call whoever is in earshot over to read, and if no one is home? I will wait and show them |
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tao power Member
since 2009-02-24
Posts 109 |
Your poems are always so humorous. They're a great relief at the end of the day. I have one problem with this poem, though. I've never heard an american, elderly or otherwise, say "give you the sack". In the states, saying something like that would probably be construed as a sexual proposition. I know you had to rhyme and all, but still... |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I've a confession to make m'self. I read this just to say, "that if ye cain't answar da kwestion, ye nee shoo naughta axe."  But yer cuter widdout da loiks o' me! (I'm filing this for future reference.) I needs a naughty smile now and again.  |
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LindsayP Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410Australia, Victoria |
Windwalker, Eric and Sea You all mean the world to me Tao Power and Serenity Blaze You both help to brighten my days A sincere thank you to all you good folk For with friends such as you My sinere appreciation I renew And the fires of frienship I stoke Lindsay |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Fine writing...James |
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LindsayP Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410Australia, Victoria |
Thanks James for your response Always appreciated. Lindsay |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
You are so good at humor, Lindsay. This is just hilarious. Ida |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Hey, Lindsay! I get this one. And I love it. Alison |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
I love this, Lindsay... and I thank you for the grins it gave me! *S* It reminds me a lot of where I grew up... outside a small southern town where everybody knew just about everyone else. One of our neighbors was called for jury duty... and embarrassed the attorneys when she was asked that question by answering "I otter... I diapered both uv ya." LOL (sorry... I'm not as good at spelling accents as serenity is! LOL) |
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LindsayP Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410Australia, Victoria |
Dear Ida, Alison and Ruth, thanks again for your kind words, They are always appreciated. I love you all, take care. Lindsay |
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