Open Poetry #44 |
Hush. |
Windhover Member
since 2003-11-17
Posts 179UK |
Just Hush... Stop... and think, a moment; choose the words you use, most carefully. What makes you think her soft, sweet words that you consume, so greedily, hold some secret message that she's on the brink... about to fall? When, perhaps, in truth... her words hold nothing there for you, at all... Now... Hush. I can read between the lines... I know just what She wants to hear; l know that Her heart is hungry... this Babe's calling... loud, and clear. Just a few more honeyed words... gentle, sweet... and carefully planned... and I can pick her, like a ripe peach... just by stretching out my hand. So I won't Hush! Just Hush... And then, What?... Play with Her emotions, on some selfish ego trip? Shatter Her belief in Love... with weasel words, that lightly trip off your tongue... poetic dross; meaningless... when used, this way; l had thought better of you... l was wrong, if this game, you would play... Now, Hush. Give me a break... stop whispering in my mind, I'm not that bad... for sure, she plays The Game, she walks The Walk... she talks The Talk... she knows the score. It's just a nudge, to speed things up... I know that the attraction's there... besides which, they all say that everything, in Love, and War is fair. No... I won't Hush! Just Hush... Then, play it by the Rules... don't act as if you were some heartless Jerk; choose the words your heart soft, whispers... not the ones you think, best work. Don't spin those silky webs of hackneyed platitudes, to soft, ensnare Her heart... for, she has heard it all before, from other Jerks, out there... Now... Hush. Stop whispering... I get the picture; be sincere... yes; OK,Fine... I've thought of one to melt Her heart, I'll really have to use that line... No!... Hush... If, She tends a flame for you... flickering gently... as, She may; be patient; it may yet, be tiny... but, Love will always find a way... Now... Hush. |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
this made me smile from start to finish really a fun read |
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tao power Member
since 2009-02-24
Posts 109 |
clever poem. nauseating use of commas. I read this poem like it was about someone who was having a psychotic break and having voices talk in his head about a girl they obsess on. but perhaps not. |
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Juju Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429In your dreams |
Nice -Juju |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Hey you don't need any friends. Just kidding. Love the conscience reasoning through the morals of love. Enjoyable read. We all argue with ourselves within, mostly through our thoughts that lead up to making major decisions. Can't see it as being termed psychotic, although it borders on that.....Then we all do from time to time. Anyone saying they don't are simply lying to themselves. Take care Eric |
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Windhover Member
since 2003-11-17
Posts 179UK |
It was just a poem exploring conscience and attitudes. The punctuation is there to adjust the meter. Sorry if the punctuation offends any of the so-called "progressive" poetic concepts; but that's the way I was taught English Grammar. |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
"nauseating use of commas" I, adamantly, disagree. and I loved the play with the Ego and the Id in this." "too bad ignorance isn't painful" |
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