Open Poetry #44 |
Made Out Of Glass |
Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
|
||
© Copyright 2009 Bill Charles - All Rights Reserved | |||
Suncleaver Member
since 2009-01-18
Posts 481Stafford England |
Beautiful Bill. A heart of prismatic glass displays love's spectrum all the more brilliantly. Never sigh for a better world, it's already composed, played and told. |
||
Robert E. Jordan Member Rara Avis
since 2008-01-25
Posts 8541Philadelphia, Pennsylvania |
Yo Bill, Try to avoid inversions such as: "restless did I become". "I became restless" would be simpler and would sound better. Other than that, I liked it fine. Bobby |
||
inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
You write tenderly in a powerful way |
||
Blood.Wolf Member
since 2009-02-09
Posts 54GA, USA |
Bobby, I think that the inversion adds to the poem rather than taking away from it. It's beautiful either way and is very powerful. The picture is a very nice fit, too. “For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack." |
||
Marc-Andre Senior Member
since 2008-12-07
Posts 501 |
Bill, this is beautiful (and I am using the word correctly). The image is gorgeous, I wish I could be there right now and read your poetry. I must say that there are a few places where the meter could be easily adjusted with minimal alteration; if you read it aloud, I'm sure you'll know what I mean Mark |
||
HelmutB Senior Member
since 2000-01-06
Posts 964Canada |
Words inked in poetic fashion as only you can Very very nice. Thank you. The ability to describe life with words is similar to painting a picture; both can be powerful tools. |
||
Copperbell Senior Member
since 2003-11-08
Posts 956 |
beautiful picture and words! |
||
Juju Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429In your dreams |
Nice -Juju |
||
garysgirl
since 2002-09-29
Posts 19237Florida, USA |
Very beautiful, Bill....both the words and the picture. Thank you so much for sharing your heart. Hugs, Ethel |
||
Namyh Senior Member
since 2009-01-20
Posts 988 |
Bill - In the wait for Love, none of us is shatterproof. Love the craft of your words Bill. Namyh |
||
LindsayP Member Elite
since 2007-07-28
Posts 3410Australia, Victoria |
A beautiful picture Bill with words to match. I only hope your heart is made out of unbreakable glass. Good one my friend. Lindsay |
||
ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Beautiful romantic setting Bill. The last verse really tugs on the heart strings. Once again wonderful work. Eric |
||
Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Suncleaver - Your words are so true, and appreciated... Bobby - tried the simpler way with the words, but it seems it adds more meaning the way I wrote it. I do appreciate your picking up on this... Michele - your reply means a lot to me with the words you wrote. Thank you muchly... Blood.Wolf - as in my reply to Bobby I feel the same way about the inversion of the words. Thank you for the gracious words in your reply... Marc-Andre - I'm touched by your words, and would love to have you over to read some of my writings I've been working on. Appreciate the meter construct. Thank you for reading this and for your reply... HelmutB - thank you for your gracious comments, and for stopping by for a read... Juju - thank you for your comment... garysgirl - I've not seen you in a while, and it's nice to see you again. I started writing once again after a long absence, and enjoying it more. Thank you for your reply... Namyh - yes, I agree with you that none of us is shatterproof and I've tried to put it into words at times. Thanks for reading this writing, and for replying... Lindsay - my friend, unfortunitely I sometimes wonder if it is made of glass or not. However, I'll try and express it in words the best I can. Also appreciate your reading my writings and replying to them... BC |
||
Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
Beautiful poem and the picture adds so much to it. Ida |
||
Sharon Rose Member
since 2008-11-03
Posts 51 |
Bill Beautiful poem! |
||
SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
such a sweet, soft write! |
||
Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Marchmadness - nice to see you, and thank you for your reply... Sharon Rose - thank you for your comment... SEA - always good to see your reply, thank you... BC |
||
suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
As I read your words, the bustle and noise around my cubicle faded completely away... thank you for sharing such beauty! *S* |
||
Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Reading this was like breathing together with the trees in that wonderful picture and listening to your beautiful heart whispers. You created a wondrous atmosphere, dear Bill. Love, Margherita |
||
Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
suthern - thank you for reading this, and for your touching reply. I'm glad you enjoyed this writing... Margherita - always nice to see your comments to my writings, it's very appreciated... BC |
||
2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
A great poem Bill, lovely words, lovely picture...It is quite beautiful. yann |
||
nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
I am so glad you are enjoying your writing, Bill. It definitely shows~~ M |
||
vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
nice read |
||
⇧ top of page ⇧ | ||
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. |